I was talking to a friend the other day about back to school shopping. She has 2 kids – a beautiful daughter who is 12 (going on 25), and a son who is 15 (going on 35). We were musing over the price of clothing for kids; and debating the ongoing fight of what her kids want versus what her budget can afford. Then, my friend said something that struck me; she said “why is it that back to school shopping always ends up with at least one kid crying or yelling, and me at my wits end?”
Good question, why is that? I mean, how hard can it be to pick up some pants and tops, and maybe a new pair of shoes?
To all the parents out there, don’t beat yourselves up. You are not alone…most moms and dads go through exactly what you are facing; what your kids want, and what you are willing to buy them seem to be on different planets.
So, what can you do to avoid the mall meltdown?
STOP
Before you go to the mall, make a plan. Get your kids involved. Sit down, and have your kids help you with the back to school list. A good starting point might be to ask them to clean out their closets, try things on, and determine what still fits from last year. Ask them to make a list of what they think they need, and you can go over that list with them. This will make your time at the mall the most productive.
DROP
Once you have determined a list, separate the ‘wants’ from the ‘needs’. Drop the things from the list that are ‘wants’. This can be a good lesson to your kids in budgeting. Although an I-Phone might be on your kids ‘need’ list, letting them help with the budget can show them things like that might mean they don’t have shoes or pants for school.
Recycle recycle recycle – try to get your kids into the habit of “one thing in one thing out”. In other words, before you go to the mall to purchase a new pair of jeans, ask your kids to find one pair of jeans to donate. This is a good opportunity to explain the importance of having a philanthropic heart, by explaining to them that there is another child out there who needs his/her old jeans. This is such a good life-lesson that if instilled early, will benefit your child into adulthood. Drop off the donation items on your way to the mall.
ROLL
Start early. The more time you have, the smarter you will shop. Last minute shopping always results in spending more money than the budget will allow.
Roll with it, or compromise. Clothing for our teenagers might not be what we wore. And I will agree, much of it isn’t appropriate for our young girls. But that is what our kids are seeing as stylish. Here are some suggestions on how to compromise:
• SITUATION: The skirt your daughter wants is way too short, and completely not on the radar of anything you would let her out of the house wearing. COMPROMISE: Let her wear that skirt, only if she wears some leggings or footless tights underneath. There are some great leggings and tights that even stop at the knee (think bike shorts) that are very fashionable.
• SITUATION: Your son wants a pair of jeans that are huge on him; they fall off his behind, exposing his boxers. COMPROMISE: He wears a size 29, and he wants a size 39…try a size 32, he will still get the baggy look he’s going for, without all the extra material that makes the extra large size dangerous!
• SITUATION: You daughter seems to think she is still a 6x, when she has developed over the summer, and should be looking at a ladies size 6. COMPROMISE: During this fragile time of a girl’s life, it can be hard to know what is going on with her body, and what size she really is. Ask her to go shopping with you in ‘your’ department. Ask for her help in choosing some things for you to try on. In the process, she will likely see some things she will want to try on too.
Finally, Head to the mall! Get together with other moms and kids – make this a group event. It is easier to convince your 12 year old that a too-short skirt isn’t appropriate for school if all of her friends agree…and are wearing the same thing.
Kathy Friend can also be found blogging at Kathy Friend Fashion Questions & Answers.
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