Like a lot of other couples, my husband and I recently found ourselves in the rut of only talking about the kids, the house or other responsibilities when we had time alone. It wasn't that we weren't laughing together or enjoying our conversation (because our kids are pretty darn cute and funny), but we definitely didn't want all of our conversation to be focused on them. Although it may sound a little pathetic – I mean, this is the same man that I used to spend hours and hours on the phone with when we were dating – we decided we needed a list of other topics we could talk about.
Here's what we came up with to start.
- My husband is a die-hard Redskins fan, and although my eyes sometimes glaze over when he starts spouting stats and factoids, I do my best to stay interested and informed simply because it's important to him.
- Likewise, although he has no interest in blogging or social media on his own, he does his best to pay attention to my chatter so that he can ask me questions or make comments about my blogging or other things that excite me.
- One of our favorite things to do is to dream together. Whether those dreams are little, like the type of landscaping we'd do if we money wasn't an issue, or big, such as where we'd visit, what we'd buy and who we'd give money to if we won the lottery, dreaming big – and together – is a great way for us to connect without the worries of our everyday responsibilities.
- Finally, when we were dating and first married, we would often drive a couple hours to go to our favorite restaurant or a national park, and we would play the question game. At the time, we had a book of conversation starters (that we've since lost in one of our many moves), and I'd love to get another one, but you can also Google "conversation starters" or brainstorm to come up with your own list, such as "What was your most embarrassing moment in high school?" or "If you could travel back in time to a specific moment in history, what would it be?"
One day our kids will grow up and leave home, and it's important to us that we stay connected and enjoy each other's company now so that when that time comes, we're not sitting around wondering who this stranger is that we're married to.
What do you and your husband talk about when your on a date or away from home? Do you make an effort to avoid talking about the kids? Join us over at the Blissfully Domestic forums and share your struggles and conversation ideas!
Mandi is a work-at-home mom to three girls four and under. As if that didn't keep her busy enough, she also blogs at Doodles' Place where she shares how she "makes the most of every moment" with her girls and at Transcription Talk, a daily blog for transcriptionists and those looking to break into the industry.
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We talk about the things that interest us. He likes NASCAR so, we are fans. I get jazzed about baking and blogging and he loves seeing my face light up so, he remains plugged in. We dream and talk about nothing and sometimes, we don't talk at all. With all the noise of our lives, sometimes, it is nice to be in a room with him and just shut up…just be. I think we will have plenty to talk about when we are old and gray because our happiness feeds on each other. I can't wait to talk to him about this:-)