Have you ever taken your child somewhere when they were reluctant to go, but by leaving time they don't want to go? It seems such a baffling behavior. And as most of you can attest, a surefire way to elicit whining and fussing in your kids is tell them it’s time to go when they are playing. It’s so common, it seems almost normal that kids get upset when it’s time to leave the park or play date. The truth is, most children have a hard time transitioning between activities, and this is because of their brains.
Kids are intense learners, hardwired to soak in tons of information. This leads kids to become completely engrossed in activities. Whether they are intent on seeing how high they can swing or building the greatest block castle, kids are all-present, testing their environment and their own imaginations. This is good for learning, but it makes them hard transitioners—they have a hard time switching gears.
The best thing you can do to help these children is to give them time to transition between activities. You have to slowly help their brains transition, because a sudden cry of “let’s go!” when they are right in the middle of play is jarring and upsetting. To allow for good transition time, start with a five minute warning. Make sure that your child makes eye contact wit
h you and understands the warning. Then provide a three (or two) minute warning and a one minute warning. At the one minute warning I have found it helpful to also remind them to “do your favorite thing one more time” so that they don’t cry that they didn’t get to do something until it is too late. Some children may need more of a transition, and if this is the case, you can start at ten minutes with the warnings.
I have a little echo song that I sing to my children. I sing, “Five more minutes until clean-up time!” (or going home time, or dinner time, whatever). It seems to help because I have them repeat it back to me and I know they heard it and understand. Plus it’s gentle and fun instead of sounding like an order. Whatever you do, be sure to help your kids transition slowly between activities, and you'll have have happier kids and mommies. What about you? How do you make smooth transitions?
Laura
Come say hi to me at mommy menagerie, where I blog because it's more fun than dishes and laundry.
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This is such a great idea, only I plan to use it on my husband who has Asperger's. It's so hard to get him going anywhere because he's always wrapped up in his latest task/game/book.