Comments on: He’s Not Their Babysitter, He’s Their Father

By: L

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:47:48 +0000

Unfornately it is coming down to leaving a list. My husband doesn’t pay attention to anything. Instead of gas drops my husband gave my son Tylenol and twice the dose but he said he didn’t look at the bottle. This is only one example of his antics. He is totally incompetent and I refuse to have any more children with him because I can’t raise them on my own.

By: tanyetta

tanyetta — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 05:45:34 +0000

This is a great post.

When I leave for girls night out, I give hugs and kisses, grab my car keys and screech out the driveway!

I never leave a list. He’s a better mommy than I am most days anyway

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:02:38 +0000

My husband and I really dislike that attitude. We have friends who say they have to check if the hubby can babysit the kids that night and my BFF will not leave her hubby at home alone with their toddler. Amazing that the hubbies managed to keep themselves alive before their wives came along.

By: Malia

Malia — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 17:00:25 +0000

Yes, there are husbands out there who don’t know important things about their own children. I contend that the mother needs to make sure that the father knows these things. You don’t have to be nagging or domineering about it. When my daughter was an infant I got in the habit of rehashing our day with my husband when he would get home from work. And on the weekends, I involved him in many aspects of her care. Over time he he knew her routine just as well as I did. When I wanted or needed to get out of the house for awhile, I knew she was in good hands. I never felt like I had to explain everything to him.

It’s best to get father’s involved as early as possible but I don’t think it’s ever too late. It may be harder, it may be met with more resistance, it may even take professional intervention (like counseling) but with love and patience and prayer, you can make it work.

By: jac from ohio

jac from ohio — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:08:08 +0000

What if the father doesn’t know how to make a bottle, nor does he care to learn? What if he has never changed his child’s diaper and he’s 3 years old? What if he doesn’t even know what the child is allergic to and offers to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (and the child is deathly allergic to peanuts)?

What about those points?

A family that I know, this is the father’s involvement in his children’s lives…

Sad, right?

I know…

How do you change this? My suggestion would be to make sure the said father wanted to have kids to begin with… I would build the conversation from there and make very clear what is expected when I child is born/created…

Since they might of missed that conversation, I would start laying down the expectations now while they are 1 and 3. If you don’t, before you know it they are going to be 10 and wanting your help with homework, car-pooling, play dates, sports, movies and everything else… you will be wearing yourself very thin.

Seriously, it amazes me the moms that take on that sort of responsibility. It’s a two way street and the both of you should be running up and down it to make your child’s life the best that it can be!

Ugh…vent over. Sorry.

By: Malia

Malia — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 14:53:49 +0000

That’s one of my husband’s biggest pet peeves! He detests it when anyone refers to him as babysitting the kids. He’s no more a babysitter to our children than I am!

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:02:49 +0000

I hate it when moms (or anyone for that matter) says something like, “The kid’s dad babysitting for the kids tonight.” I always think…they are not babysitting the kids. Its the dad.