How to Cope When He Clams Up

We've talked about how men compartmentalize their lives. Now let’s touch on our different reactions to stressful situations. In most cases women seek out communication and comfort in times of stress. We call our best friends, we go to the League forums and ask for advice or we go have coffee with a friend.

On the other hand, many men tend to clam up. Their brains are wired to withdraw and process information. Many times no matter how hard we try, they will not open up until the problem has been sufficiently sorted out. Sometimes this takes five minutes, and sometimes five days. It depends on the man and the problem he is working on. This is simply the way many men go about solving a problem and regaining a feeling of control over the situation.

Can it be infuriating? Sure! It is reality and that’s what Blissfully Wed is devoted to. No sugar coating, or discussing the way things "should be". Next time he clams up, instead of freaking out with worry that he’ll never go back to normal, take a breath, and lean on a trusted friend for support if you need to. If he is given a bit of space and time, he’ll be comfortable and ready to talk soon enough.

Doesn’t that sound better than crying, slamming doors and telling him, “You just don’t love me!” next time he withdraws inside himself? A little bit of perspective and patience will do wonders.