As one who divorced after 13 years of ups and downs, I wish we had had mentors. My ex came from a broken home as did I. The closest our family had to marital role models were my aunt and uncle who were married close to 70 years when she died a few years ago.

Glad for you and your hubby. You’re a great mom and I know you’re a great wife, mentoring or not. But it certainly helps to have a support system. Blessings.

Wista

I think marriage mentors are a great idea. I have not used this method, but having a focus that is not of a medical environment I think can help couples feel more at ease. You are able to be yourselves rather than discussing your issues to someone sitting there shaking there head as you are talking. Then waiting for that textbook response your rarely understand.

I heard someone comment one time that they have to work all day, they did not want to come home and have to work at marriage. Well after several divorces, this person finally figured out that yes, marriage requires work. There is more to a marriage than pulling off the ultimate wedding.

Communication and consideration is the key to understanding your mate. Many people come from good families with happy marriages. The sad part, at times parents do not reveal the problems in front of the children which leads to a distored reality of what really makes a marriage work. When problems arise, they are not sure how to handle them. “My parents never had these problems” In reality they probably did. There are those parents who reveal all the problems in front of the children with anger and arguing, this in turn does not set a good example of how to handle the problems that do come up and they will.

The author wrote of how her husband will fill her gas tank and make sure her car is in good condition. That is consideration for the other person.

Marriage is not a one way street. You have to pay attention as you are going down the road, things will cross your path that you need to pay attention to -otherwise when you hit them they will create problems. You also have to remember that you are not always going down the road in the same direction, at the same time. You have to be able to have an understanding that your thoughts are not the only way to be.

We raise our children to be independent and free thinking, well you have to realize that someday they too will share their lives with another person. Teach ourselves and our children to the thought process of communication and consideration. By showing and talking.

I recently attended a funeral for a woman who passed and left behind her husband of 39 years. They married at the age of 15. That is so amazing because you don’t find that type of love these days. I hope that I find that long lasting love in my new partner. Which his parents have also been married for 30+ years. So he does value a committed relationship.

A marraige mentor will help us before and during the marraige because i do not want to divorce again especially when some things could have been worked out.

PH