Learning to say no and taking time out for myself are two of the best ways I've found to hang on to some semblance of sanity while balancing my career and being a mother.
The Sydney Morning Herald recently published 10 tips for better work life balance (hat tip: Career and Kids).
These tips really spoke to me:
Negotiate an agreement
Whether its flexible working arrangements, childcare support, or parental leave, the family-friendly options available to you will depend on your employer. Aim for a win-win outcome by anticipating your manager’s concerns, stating your needs, highlighting business benefits, and keeping your emotions in check.
When my oldest daughter started kindergarten I negotiated with my supervisor on a more flexible work arrangement so that I could pick her up every day from school. I now telecommute half the work week.
Learn to say ‘no’
If you want to buck the trend towards putting in ‘face time’ and incorporate some real balance into your life, then learn to say ‘no’ to unreasonable demands and leave the office on time without feeling guilty. Saying ‘no’ with respect is not only effective, it feels good, too.
After I had my first daughter I rotated off the board of a professional organization I had been a member of for several years. Now my volunteer time is spent at her school.
Take time out for you
Resist the temptation to let work spill over into your personal life. Instead, keep your personal life for family time alone, and make sure you create clearly designated boundaries for work and personal tasks. Consider ‘unplugging’ regularly from your laptop, email and mobile phone; the minute you leave the office is ideal.
When was the last time you took a break from checking voice mail or e-mail? When was the last time you made lunch plans with a friend, instead of spending that hour busily running household errands? When was the last time you asked your spouse to watch your children so you could meet a friend after work for dinner and a movie? When was the last time you took a personal day off while your kids are at school and spent it doing things you enjoy?
Remember, if you don't take care of yourself, it will be very difficult for you to take care of your family.
How do you balance it all? Come over to Blissfully Domestic Living to share your tips with friends!
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Although my husband is not a "working Mom," his recent experience of changing his work schedule came to mind when I read this article.
We had discussed quite a bit that we could have more family time and more flexibilty with our schedule if he could go into work an hour earlier and leave an hour earlier. He talked to his boss about it, and his boss had no problem at all with it. (Actually, his boss thought it was a good idea because although most everyone else worked the hours that my husband was working, his employees actually did work the schedule that he was proposing that he switch to.)
Although this means that my husband gets up way too early each morning, we have been enjoying more family time, and he says that is worth it.
Who knew that his boss would have been so receptive to the idea? Certainly my husband wouldn't have known if he hadn't have asked!
Angie:
That is awesome! My boss actually came up with my new schedule last year when I told her I didn't want to put my daughter in after school care. She came up with a more flexible schedule than I had originally proposed! I think more and more employers are seeing the benefits of flex time for working parents.
When I moved to this department, I asked to be able to come in at 8:15 am instead of right at 8. It's made a huge difference in our mornings and I no longer have to rely on a neighbor to get my older girls on the bus (which comes at 8am).
I don't do this and I need to do this. It is sad that I said that I did not have time to go to the doctor and ended up paying for a $50 fee to go to Medpoint. Note to self: taking time to address one's bladder infection is important. Otherwise, it turns into a KIDNEY infection.
Ridiculous, I know.
Your last tip is why I love those holidays when I don't have to work, but my kids have school/child care. Bonus!!
I've also found that there are tons of different school volunteer jobs. One of the ones I do takes literally 20 min, 1x/week but is very helpful to the school. I miss very little of my workday but I still perform a valuable service.
I'm not actually a mom yet, but am a full-time working wife. Fitting everything in really is hard. I've had to cut back on some of my extra activities to make sure I can still take care of myself.
My hubby is deployed and I work full time, so I had to quit flex time. But I was able to work 4 – 10's last year and get Wednesdays off. It was great, I got in EARLY and left just a bit later than I do now.
Maybe when he gets back in December I can do it again – or joy of joys, go part time!!
Mindi:
Did you do 4 a.m. to 10 a.m. or 4 p.m. to 10 p.m.? Just curious!
I volunteer at my daughter's school with another mom who works as a nurse. She does three 12-hour shifts and really likes it.
I honestly think more and more employers have to offer flex time, otherwise they risk losing talented parents who have a lot to offer, but just need a more flexible work arrangement.