Photo credit: Paperwork Etc.
Right now, I'm sitting at my computer, staring at the stack of unfolded laundry that mocks me from across the room, all the while wondering what kind of dinner I can scrape together with a box of macaroni, a can of tuna, and a bottle of apple juice. Sound familiar? What would Martha do?
In today's world of 50 hour work weeks, is it unreasonable to try to be Superwoman? Is it even possible to be Martha Stewart, even for Martha if she didn't have her crew of assistants? Or is it time to stifle the guilt, embrace the lack of perfection, and just roll with it?
I have talked to the experts on the subject – my fellow mommies – and I have come to a few conclusions I'd like to share with you:
- No, you cannot be Superwoman, unless you would like to end up in the hospital with an ulcer. You will have to decide what's important to you and go from there. What is your priority? An immaculate home? Happy children? A turbo-charged career? Unfortunately, something has to give, at the risk of your health and/or sanity.
- The ability to delegate is key. You won't be able to make a cake for the PTA bake sale, mop the entire house, pack lunches for the kids, and write a complete redesign of your client's web site on your own in one night. What can your husband or kids do to help?
- When was the last time you did something for yourself? Have you exercised in the past few months? Taken a bubble bath? Or even picked up a book? Maybe it's time for some healthy narcissism.
- Has the word "no" crossed your lips recently? If not, perhaps it's time to give it a try.
What I'm asking is not a simple thing. After several years of thankless people-pleasing, I have finally come to the realization that I just cannot be all things to everyone. No, I will never be the woman who keeps a dust-and-hair-free home, my kids may eat popsicles for breakfast every now and then, and I don't have the time to make every meal from scratch, but my family is all the happier for my having had this epiphany. My ability to embrace the imperfections and rise above them has made me a better and stronger person, wife, and mother. I deserve more, and, really, as Hubs likes to say, "if Mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"
Tired of trying to be perfect? Join me in the forum and discuss!
Sara is a full-time writer, wife, and mom. She's still working on perfecting the art of saing no. Find her at So Many Flavors, So little Time!
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I needed to hear this.
Thanks for the encouragement!
I totally agree with your post! I am living proof that it just cannot be done over decades. At one point I was raising children, caring for an elderly infirmed mother, President of a large service oriented organization, working full time in a demanding high pressure surgery office…and trying to be Martha! My mom passed away five years ago and four months later I quit my job and started giving up trying to be a perfectionist.
I still struggle with it but I actually love looking over at my mocking laundry and knowing it is not going anywhere until I decide to do something with it. The big snow ball that I felt was chasing me for years is melting and I love my new paradigm for living. Be a human being not a human doing every minute of your day!