I came across this shirt online and as an “expectant mother through adoption” I had an instant reaction. A knee jerk if you will.
The increase and publicity of celebrity adoptions has changed the tone of the word adoption from whispered to boasted. Has this new conventional trend in family building changed public perception of adoption?
Some of the most common reasons for adoption are infertility, secondary infertility, and in some cases just the desire to offer a home to a child who needs one. In 2000 reported information on adoption for the first time. Currently it shows there are now 1.6 million adopted children under the age of 18 living in families scattered evenly across the United States.
As we watch more and more celebrities publicized for their adoptions the misconception that is built is that adoption is easy or that adoption replaces pregnancy. (Such as the shirt above) Though it may seem in the case of well-publicized adoptions that it’s as easy as picking a flight and picking up your baby, in all reality the average family has to deal with many obstacles when choosing to adopt. Whether deciding to adopt internationally or domestically, finance plays a major factor in the role of the average family’s attempt to adopt.
In some cases a majority of savings are spent on unsuccessful fertility treatments before the decision to adopt can be made. Also the average family has to cope with the emotions of infertility and sense of grief or loss of their “biological child”, (whether conceived or not).
Whatever stage of the family building process you are in with adoption, its never easy. Most parents will say that even upon receiving your child your journey is only uphill from there. Hopefully public perception will be that despite what may be publicized when choosing to adopt you are in for a emotional roller coaster and choosing to welcome a child into your family is more than merely choosing to catch a flight.
~One Happy Wife
One happy wife will continue her Adoption Option series with Part 2: Financing an Adoption and interview with Becky Fawcett Executive Director of Helpusadopt.
One Happy Wife is a happy homemaker, former teacher, photographer, and expectant mother through adoption. You can read more about her adventures of homemaking, adoption, photography, and crafts at onehappywife.
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Your perspective on adoption ignores the fact that very adoption "built" or added to by adoption represents another family that failed to receive the supports they needed to remain together.
As a PAP of 4+ years (yes, we got a referral over 4 years ago, LONG story – go to my blog for the sorted tale)…I am pretty sensative about adoption, the comments that get thrown at those who are 'in process', and things that are said about adopted children.
I consider myself a professional pre-adoptive parent, and I think I've seen it all and heard it all…until I saw a show on 20/20 (might have been Dateline) on adoption.
The show followed 2 couples who were adopting from Russia…which is where we are adopting from, so I had a heightened interest.
One of the mothers said things like "this is not what we paid for", "we paid good money for a good kid"…made me SICK!
There is a misconception out there from those who aren't in the adoption community – that we 'buy' kids, and that it is an easy process, since we don't have to be pregnant.
I beg to differ…I've been pregnant now for 4+ years!
So, thanks for sharing some of the reality of the process – although every adoption story is different, we all share much of the same path.