There are lots of jokes out there about mothers-in-law. But I don't get them. I have a great relationship with my mother-in-law. I get along with all of the in-laws, although a few of them I'd like to throw out the window occasionally.
I know that is not the case for every wife, however. But because they are a part of your husband's family, they are now a part of your family.
Biblically speaking, a husband is to "leave his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." (Genesis 2:24, New Living Translation, Tyndale House Publishers) In other words, the family that a man has with his wife (and their children) should be his first allegiance.
What is a wife to do if there are tensions with the in-laws or if the Hubster cannot cut the apron strings? Here are a few helpful suggestions.
- Talk with your husband honestly and openly about the tensions.
- Do not attack! My mom always said that "Honey attracts better than vinegar."
- Outline your expectations but be willing to compromise with your husband.
- Know your non-negotiables. If you have a family rule with your children, make sure that you are able to enforce that family rule when with the in-laws.
- Don't take yourself too seriously.
The most important suggestion is communicate. Don't let little frustrations pile up until you blow up. My husband reminds me often that he is not a mind reader. I bet your husband isn't a mind reader either.
So don't let your in-laws become like out-laws. Even if you can't be close to them, they hold an important place in the life of your family.
Read more about parenting and faith at Heather's personal blog, Not a DIY Life.
Extraordinary Wives, let's take it to The League! How do you keep harmony with the in-laws?
If you’d like to join The League, please e-mail us at wedblissfully@gmail.com for an invitation.
{This article was originally published on October 8, 2008}
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