The "Je Ne Sais Quoi" of Romance

It's like the book says "Men Are From Mars, and Women Are From Venus".

Or was it the other 100 and some books out there? All of which describe the profound differences between men and women, most of which us busy Moms don't have time to read, and won't read in front of our children anyway.

Hmmm, let me think about that – men and women are different? Really? You think?

Of course they are! And, if they weren't life would be boring.

Men and women actually compliment each other, in most cases. And while it might seem challenging to understand each other at times, it can be a great game of give and take in perfect harmonious balance if we allow it to be.

However, most couples, especially of small children have a similar complaint:

The men – I wish we could have more sex.

The women – I wish my husband was more romantic and understanding.

I can relate completely to this scenario, maybe you can too. That's not to say that every marriage, or partnership feels this way.

But let's face it, after changing poopy diapers, cleaning up spit-up or pee that missed the potty, scrubbing dishes, endless laundry, listening to screaming kids all day, us Moms need a little romance at the end of the day!

I call it, getting out of "Mommy Mode".

Try explaining this to a husband who works hard, and all he wants to do is something about something else that's hard at the end of his day. He waited patiently all day, through supper, the kids bed time, and now he has you all to himself at last.

Well in my opinion, it comes down to – you GET what you GIVE.

The key is to GIVE to your spouse what THEY want and need. If the man gives his wife what she wants, naturally he will get what he wants in return. Et voila, you have a happy couple.

But is it really that simple?

What if the man doesn't want to have to always make the first move? Raising children along with all your other responsibilites, can feel like weathering a storm in your love life. It is important to talk to your partner about what you need, and what affects your desire to want to be intimate.

And, honestly it isn't fair for the man to always be last in line. But, if he does want to be first, then it's not out of the question to ask him to help you to make him first on your list.

You can do this by asking him to pick up some slack around the house, or with the kids, or maybe even arranging a babysitter. Whatever works for your life, and as a couple.

My final words, ladies – remember that motherhood doesn't mean the end of your womanhood, or your livelihood, so don't forget to show your love, and be loved.