What is Black Tie?

Formal Attire

I just got an invitation that said “Attire – High Tea.” What in the world does that mean? My first thought was that I was being asked to wear white gloves and some kind of a hat… rather than to guess, I went online. Apparently, High Tea is a tea held at 5 or 6pm, and business attire is appropriate. Who knew?

I grew up in a family of women who instilled in me the importance of being appropriately dressed at all times. My grandmother, a veteran of the Progress Club (which was a big deal in society circles in the town I grew up in), hosted
many social gatherings. And the tea was always served from her finest china.

Times have changed. The definition of what is appropriate isn’t just different from times gone by, it is downright distorted. We have become a very causal society. Because of our culture’s lackadaisical attitude toward attire, when we are required to get gussied up, generally our first thought is “what can I get away with wearing.” To help you plan for your next soiree, here are some tips and definitions:

Ultra Formal – pull out the stops on your attire. Think the Grammys, Emmys, Princess Diana’s wedding. This is the most formal of all events; however, you can be a little creative with your look. Men should wear a tux, but you can be trendy in the way you wear it. Look to see what the stars are wearing on the Red Carpet, and go from there!

Black Tie – this is a formal affair. Men should plan on renting (or dusting off) a tux, ladies should plan on wearing a long dress. It would not be appropriate for ladies to wear pants to this kind of event, or for men to wear a sport coat. This is one of those events where you should dress to the nines!

White Tie – generally this means formal, but a little trendier than the cut-and-dry black tie. Ladies can wear a shorter formal gown; men might forgo the cummerbund and tie. This kind of invitation can also mean men should wear the reverse of the black tie; black pants, white jacket, black shirt, white tie. For men, think Casablanca style.

Black Tie Optional – this kind of event suggests that the host wants to have a formal event, but knows that people won’t rent (or wear) a tux. This gives men an option to wear a good dark suit rather than a tux. Ladies are still expected to wear dressy evening attire.

Creative Black Tie – this theme can be a tux jacket with denim. Use your creativity, theme your outfit to the event. Ladies might consider wearing a men’s tux with a sparkly stiletto.

Texas Black Tie – a spin on the Creative Black Tie is the Texas Black Tie. This event calls for cowboy boots with your tux. Ladies might wear their best evening gown with cowboy boots and a hat.Men, dust off the over-sized belt buckle and party on!

Formal – a formal event is the same as Black Tie, however men should not feel that they need to wear a tux. A good black suit is appropriate.

Semi-Formal – this kind of event means the hosts want the same feel as a formal event, but tuxedos and suits are not required. A nice sport coat for men, and an ‘after 5’ look for ladies.

Business Formal – can be the same as semi-formal. Ladies can wear a suit with some sparkle, or a sheath with a jacket. Because this is a business event, ladies should be conscious about cleavage and skin. Keep it modest.

Cocktail – this means short dress/skirt for ladies and a great dark suit for men. Ties aren’t necessary for the guys for cocktail parties. Women will want to get out the LBD (Little Black Dress) for this event.

Festive – this is a look that will be on a lot of holiday party invitations. This means something that has some sparkle or a holiday feel. It if is a New Year’s party, ladies should wear that sequined tank top that is hiding in the back of her closet. Men, if you must, this is when you wear the Santa socks and tie. You might see 'festive casual,' this would imply that jeans are OK, and a good occasion for ladies to wear a bedazzled sweater.

Casual – the simplest event, this means anything goes. Consider the time of day (more casual for daytime), and the occasion. For example, a birthday gathering for a child is going to be more casual than a holiday party.

Dressy Casual – a dressed up version of casual, meaning the guys should put on a sport coat with dressy jeans, and ladies could wear a patterned skirt with a denim jacket. It would be inappropriate to wear shorts, or anything too sexy to a ‘dressy casual’ event.

Informal – this is possibly the most misunderstood kind of party attire. Many think this means casual, and are regrettably underdressed. Informal is the same at semi-formal. Men should wear a sport coat, and ladies should keep attire modest, especially when the event is a wedding.

Picnic Attire – this is a definite casual event. An invitation that says ‘picnic attire’ generally means you should bring your own seat (blanket, folding chair), and of course shorts are appropriate. Since chances are you are going to be sitting on the ground (or close to it), ladies should be conscious of this when choosing an outfit (i.e. steer clear of any potential wardrobe malfunctions with short shorts or skirts).

Beach Attire – similar to the picnic attire event, this invitation implies there will be a pool, or the event is at the beach. Be prepared to swim. This does not mean; however, you should wear your bathing suit to the event, unless it is under your street clothes.

Tea – finally the tea party. I am guilty of hosting several events that were dubbed an ‘afternoon tea and style show.' This is a very ladylike event, and generally is a nice way of saying “no men or children are invited.” Wear your most feminine outfit. Skirts or dresses are the most appropriate; however, pants are fine too. Jeans can also work for this kind of event, if they are done right. Wear your jeans only if paired with a very feminine styled jacket or sweater.

Kathy Friend is a wardrobe coach – which means she helps people figure out what to wear! Visit her blog or her website