For some marriages, money is the hardest subject to bring up and not argue about. When it comes to finances there are so many hot spots in marriage that pretty much the entire subject is taboo. Who should work, who will be in charge of paying the bills, how much to save, what type of investments should you use, what exactly constitutes an investment…? The list can go on and on. How can we cope with this beast called finances and not untie the knot of marital bliss?
- Leave your emotions at the door. If you walk into a conversation with your defenses up then it’s bound to end up a messy situation. Try not to take offense when your spouse says you’re not good with money. The same goes for you, if you are the money savvy one don’t belittle your partner for being not like you.
- Be realistic. If you know that you can’t resist a sale maybe you shouldn’t be in charge of the finances. Despite what some of your girlfriends may say, it’s okay not to be in charge of the bank account. Just be sure you still have access to all the information. Not being in charge doesn’t mean you should be clueless.
- Honesty. Whoo wee, yes I said it! You can’t have a healthy relationship with the love of your life and hide packages under the guest bed. Nope not behind the vacuum either—even though I could hang a brand new mink coat on top of the vacuum and my husband would never see it…. Finding a notice on the door is not the best way for your spouse to find out you’re 5 months behind on your mortgage.
- Set common goals and stick to them. If you want to buy a house in two years then break down on a monthly or even a weekly basis how much you will have to put aside. Then do it.
- Give it up, turn it lose–your addiction to Starbucks that is. It could be any guilty pleasure like fast food everyday for lunch or eating out 4 nights a week for dinner that could be causing that financial strain on your wallet. If you both give up equally important decadent items the other party won’t feel as resentful.
See, this list really could go on and on. The subject of money can be touchy in even the best relationship but it’s important enough to stay on top of for the sake of your happy home.
Erika blogs about being a wife, mother, writer and knitter at Not Without My Coffee.
During this uncertain economy and time of financial unrest, how do our Extraordinary Wives help manage the household finances? Please share with us at The League!
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My biggest dispute with my husband is balancing faith vs wisdom when it comes to money. I don't believe you should spend money that you don't have and believe that it will come back to you later. He does the opposite. There's a certain level of belief that God will supply all your needs and stupidity that needs to agreed upon…
i LOVE THIS ARTICLE I NEED TO HAVE MY BOYFRIEND READ THIS ONE. WE HAVE ISSUES WITH ALL THE ABOVE I EAT OUT EVERYDAY, I HIDE PACKAGES, I PEND CARELESSLY AT TIMES AND I GE TBEHIND IN BILLS. FINALLY MY BOYFRIEND SAT ME DOWN AND WE DISCUSSED HOW THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE, BUT IT IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. YOU ARE RIGHT ON POINT WITH ALL STATEMENTS. ONCE WE ACTUALLY STARTED TO DISCUSS THE ISSUE WE REALIZED HE WAS BETTER AT TAKING OVER THE FINANCES.
SINCE THIS JUST STARTED I WILL GIVE IT SOME MONTHS AND SEE HOW IT GOES. OVERALL I AM GLAD WE TALKED THROUGH THE ISSUE AND CAME UP WITH ALTERNATE SOLUTIONS BEFORE JUST BREAKING UP, CAUSE OUR ARGUING WAS GETTING OUT OF HAND. WE LOVE EACH OTHER AND KNEW OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS WORTH SAVING.
"Money is the root of all evil". I believe that is very much the case when it comes to marriage or even just relationships in general. I liked your article very much, but I have to say those "rules" are more easily said than followed. If you don't have honesty and trust in your relationship, how can you have it in your finances? The problem is a decision has to be made, whether it's what bill needs to be paid or when we can afford to go out to dinner or even how much can be spent at the grocery store. When that decision has to be made and the two of you can't agree, then what? I love my wife and I think she is great with money, when we have it, but when we are broke she's not the best at being frugal. Then again it could be just that I am an expert at it! I can't wait to hear more from you on this subject especially! Great Article!