Compart-MEN-talize- to separate into isolated compartments.
Men do this with ease. A little cubby here for work, one for sports, one for being a Daddy and one for being a Husband. His life seems so easily sorted into little sections.
Some researchers say it is in the male genetic code, some say it is learned behavior. Not all men do it, but most have the technique down pat.
While researching this post I quizzed my husband. I wanted to pick his brain on the topic. His response was simple, "We don't compartmentalize, Honey. We organize!" To many men, tucking one part of life away while enjoying another is as easy as breathing. Of course, as women, this seems just wrong! The many facets of our personalities and lives are forever intertwined.
"It's important to understand that communication challenges in male-female relationships stem from the different ways in which men's and women's brains are wired. "Men compartmentalize their feelings, but women remember everything," says Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause. "So when women bring up issues in a relationship, they tend to bring up everything that is related," she adds, noting that this is a big mistake. That's because most men find this approach overwhelming, or view "hashing over everything" as a character attack." (source)
How can the two styles co-exist peacefully?
"According to Dr. Northrup, the most important communication skill for women to learn is that you cannot expect your mate to be your best friend. Save the long-winded moaning sessions for your girlfriends."
As I have said so many times, save your heart-to-hearts for your girlfriends. After you have had a chance to vent and feel understood, then talk to your hubby about it, if need be. This will save you tears and a long night of saying, "You never listen to me. I just need you to empathize with me!"
Extraordinary Wives -Let's go get some empathy and love at the League!
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