How many times, as parents, have we quoted the Golden Rule to our children? “Do unto others as you would have them do to you,” (Luke 6:31) we tell them. And we believe this good and noble advice. Don’t we?
When it comes to our kids, of course we do. No parent wants to hear that their child’s a bully. But how often do we apply the Golden Rule to dealing with our spouse?
In the early days of marriage, it’s fairly simple. We’re still treading lightly. We’re still trying to be a good wife or husband. We’re still learning; we understand this and offer each other an extra portion of grace. Weeks pass, then months, then years. Often, children are added to the family; they bring new joys and stresses. As we walk, jog, and sprint down the path of life, we form habits, we start arguments, and, sometimes, we forget that learning shouldn’t end. We dig in our heels and roll our eyes in disgust.
“Why,” we huff, “does he put his shirt in the hamper inside out? Every. Single. Day.”
“Why,” he responds, “does she insist on treating me like a child? Every. Single. Day.”
You know this treadmill, right? Some days are better. Some are worse. Every marriage has them.
The difference is that some couples recognize and break the cycle. Others wallow in misery and slog through the years. I believe that God’s vision for marriage is greater. Being one-flesh doesn’t mean simply abiding and enduring until death do us part. It means loving, living, engaging, celebrating! It means missteps and hurt feelings are followed by forgiveness and grace. It means walking down the path of life together, and helping one another along the way.
The Golden Rule was meant for children. And for grown-ups, too.
Kirsetin is an author and speaker who spends more time on the computer than in the kitchen. She blogs about raising boys, living life, and having fun over at The Hip Mom’s Guide. When she’s not working, she enjoys yoga, playing darts with her boys, and visiting warm places with palm trees.
Do you find it hard to apply the Golden Rule to your marriage? When do you have the most difficulty "doing unto him"? When is it easier? We'll be discussing it at The League!
Not a member of The League of Extraordinary Wives? E-mail us at wedblissfully@gmail.com for an invitation.
Photo credits: The 5th Ape and ((((i))))) (((((see))))) (((((you)))))
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What a great post! It is something that we know in our hearts but need occasional reminding. Thanks for the reminder.
Also, I love that you spend more time on the computer than in the kitchen (cuz that is what I do too).