Parenting a child with special needs – whatever those needs may be – is an endeavor that few of us chose. Most of us had to adapt rather quickly to learn to deal with this new life of ours; an adaptation that is ongoing.
We have to constantly educate ourselves on our child's condition, keep abreast of new medications, therapies, interventions, supplements, etc., and deal with ongoing and continuously changing physical, mental, and emotional issues.
Dr. Bindu Chawla wrote of such ongoing impact on parents of special needs children in "Prominent Psychosocial Difficulties that Parents of Young Children with Severe Disabilities May Cope with During Their Child's Early Years."
The parents of the child with disability need to be stronger, adaptive, and optimistic, and have a huge sense of humor. They have to be “special” for the special child.
Dr. Chawla touches on such issues as the immediate impact, the sense of loss parents feel, accepting their child's disability, and coping measures we use.
The five stages of grieving Dr. Chawla identifies are absolutely real when it comes to overcoming your child's initial diagnosis and letting go of the life you had in mind for your child and your parenting of that child. When my son was diagnosed on the autism spectrum, it took nearly nine months for me to say it out loud and come to grips with the reality of it. He was receiving early intervention through that time, but my own emotional mindset took awhile to catch up.
Dr. Chawla's article is a good piece for those who do not have special needs children to read and get some insight into the lives, hearts, and emotions of their friends and family members who are dealing with this in their lives.
photo by central
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thanks holly. i wish i had this info when my son was dx'd 9 yrs ago at the age of 2 with Angelman Syndrome. even tho he's 11 now, i still feel like i deal with these issues. i'm not sure i'll ever get it right, tho its tons better than it was 9 yrs ago. for us the fact that our son is our only child compounds our grief for what i wanted for him and for myself as a parent.
i look forward to reading more of your posts.