When my stepson was younger you could nearly set a clock by how long it took for him to adjust from coming to our house from his mother's house. Likewise, his mother reported he had a similar transition upon returning home. My mother tells me that when I was a kid, she struggled with the transition period after my brother and I returned from our dad's house. It's pretty common. When a child goes from one environment to another, it's not that unusual for there to be a need to slow down and adjust.
One of the things we did was try to create some routine – sure, it got boring to do the same thing, at the same time every other Friday — but it eased some of the uncertainty and lessened the "side effects" (cranky, cranky, cranky) of the transition.
What are your tricks for easing the transition for your children/stepchildren?
Photo Credit: Pink Sherbet Photography
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I use the 15/10/5 minute warning with my son. People think I am crazy about giving warnings, but when their children are throwing a fit and not wanting to leave, I give a knowing smile and me and my son walk away happy.
For one, we plan for the transitions since ours are three to six hours from home. The day we travel we are careful to feed them a good protein strong breakfast, not sugar, not carbs. Nothing starts the excitement off more wrong than a carb loaded anxious child….even the happy transition to the other parent is an anxiety time for most children. When they arrive back from the other parents, we intentionally plan down time that evening….a family movie….again, a solid dinner together….time for a quiet activity if its a full day arrival ….simply planning for them to have time before expecting much besides compliance in breathing is a good way to stop the chaos and stress of changing households. Our children need the music listening, quiet book, or down time of a relaxing movie or board game kind of night….not alot of expectations the day of travel and usually the next day either! We plan wardrobes and gatherings so that the day they return's clothes are already picked and at home (in case things are left a state a way) We also simply allow time for the children to be on their own without sibling expectations when they first arrive and are missing their dad who lives 400 miles away!
hugs!
Sweetie