Homecoming after a deployment is a joyous time, but it can also be filled with stress as your service man or woman adjusts to being home, and you both adjust to living together again. A friend shared with me how on a shopping trip, her husband embarrassed her by ordering a worker there to "Go see if you have this in stock and report back to me." Here are a few tips to help the whole family make a smoother adjustment:
- Mixed feelings are normal. Most of us are thrilled at the return of our loved ones, but you may also feel nervous at the same time.
- Children can also experience mixed feelings, being excited about the return of a parent, but scared that they will get punished for a bad grade or misdeed that occurred during deployment.
- Try not to have expectations about how your reunion will happen or what your loved one will say. If you expect certain words or actions and your loved one doesn't provide them, you may be very disappointed.
- Try to communicate in advance with your spouse about how they will be incorporated back into the family- everything from finances, decisions about vacation plans or company, to decisions about child discipline can be discussed in advanced and agreed upon by you as a team.
- After homecoming simply listen to each other's experiences. Try not to compare who had it worse.
- Remember that your service member may be a little rough around the edges. You may hear more coarse language than you did prior to deployment. If your loved one is used to giving orders it may take a while for him to adjust to a different style of communication. Show grace to each other during this time.
- Most of all, enjoy having your loved one home!
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Can't wait for the chance to implement these strategies!