Just when I feel I'm settling into an "easy phase" with my triplets, some new challenge rears its ugly head and pushes me back into a corner. Right now? It's the dilemma of how to praise one of them without it feeling insulting to the others.
If one child does exceptionally well at something, we naturally want to congratulate him/her. But how do we do this without discouraging the ones who are still trying?
It's a tough balance to maintain. On one hand, praising the successful one in front of the others can motivate the ones who haven't yet reached the goal…especially if it's behavior-related. That's a good thing, right? But what if this just makes the ones not being praised feel like failures? That's a bad thing.
When siblings are different ages, this isn't as big of a dilemma. When they know they are the same age, though, they really do expect to be developing at the same rate…even if this is unreasonable. They want to keep up with one another. The dynamic is intense. The competition fierce. And during this time when it's critical to foster healthy self-esteem, the balance is precarious.
I remember thinking my job (during my career days) was difficult, challenging, stressful. That was an absolute breeze compared to this parenting triplets thing!
(photo by mattedgar)
Loading ...
I have twins so I am familiar with this issue. For us, it helps when I remind each child what SHE is good at and encourage the idea that each child is different.
I hate when I come home from the store with a treat for one and the other 3 kids are upset they didn't get something. When I have to do that it's just a lesson that they will not all be treated the same throughout life.
I agree parenting can be super hard. And so worth it.