Comments on: Responsibilities of a Stepparent

By: SarahB

SarahB — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 14:52:47 +0000

But in a family when there is no “ours” or “mine” children, and the only child is the stepchild (or stepchildren), I do think it’s important for the couple to discuss the roles in house and there be an understanding. Idont thinkeither partner should ever ASSUME what the other will and will not be taking on.

By: Eve

Eve — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 05:15:01 +0000

I agree with Melissa. I do not believe in treating my stepson any different than I would treat my biological children. I could not imagine having him live in my house, and not provide the things a proper parent would provide.
I believe that it is essential for couples to have extensive conversations about how this wish to raise their children (all children) BEFORE getting married. Once children are involved, we have to be a little less selfish, and remember that it is all about the children and our growth as a family. If not, there will never be a completely happy household.
It also needs to be a slow transition that includes the children and their vision of their new family. In a blended family, you have to consider the parents AND the children’s feelings. My stepson does not call me Mom, but has talked about it with my husband. When he is ready,I will welcome the change. But regardless of what he calls me, he and I talk a lot, and it pleases me to know that he considers me a permanent part of his life. We can honestly sit back and joke about how things will be when he has to take care of me when I am old. For that, I would not mind the sacrifice of doing a little extra work to take care of him.

By: melissa

melissa — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 14:43:16 +0000

i am raising my stepkids. plus…my own. in my house…they are ALL treated exactly the same. and…i’m expected to do everyones laundry, beds, etc…
which is fine. because, we are trying to make this home as normal as we can. but i consider us to be lucky because, we got married when the oldest was 5 so…this is basically all they’ve ever known.
so really, while my husband and i are each step parents to a couple of full time kids…we are truly the REAL parents!!
great article!!