I was in my office working yesterday when our 17-month-old hastily walked by while waving and proclaiming, "Mama! Hi!"
Then, just as quickly, she turned in the other direction, waved, and went forth with, "Mama! Bah-Bye! Wuv oo!" For 3.6 seconds I knew nothing but the feeling of a heart melting into a puddle of nirvana.
And then Jack yelled from the second floor, "Oh my! There's an intestation up here!"
I didn't know what an intestation was, but I knew it wasn't good.
When Grace's hamster Lennie passed on to his (or her, I can never remember) eternal nirvana a few months ago, we rid our home of his (or her) cage and chewy toys and running wheel that squeaked so loudly it caused slight stirring in anything hibernating within a fifty mile radius.
Apparently, however, we did not rid our home of Lennie's surplus bedding.
Apparently, teeny tiny unidentifiable bugs feel about this material the same way SpongeBob feels about Crabby Patties.
"It's not an inTEStation, Jack," chided Grace, "It's an inFEStation."
Sadly, the English lesson was unnecessary as I'd put two and two together a millisecond earlier.
I entered Grace's room to find little bugs jumping here, there and everywhere.
"They're bed bugs, Mother," said Grace, absolutely mortified.
"I don't think they are," corrected Jack, who was, at this point, curiously down on the ground with the bugs–of the bed variety (or not)– and a magnifying glass.
"Jack, you're not going to be able to see them in great detail," I advised. "They're jumping too quickly."
"I'm not trying to see them, Mom. I'm trying to direct sunlight onto them so they'll catch fire."
Super. So we've got an intestation and a bug-burning pyromaniac in the house.
"Okay, let's put the magnifying glass away and get the vacuum."
"You're going to VACUUM them?" asked Grace. "But, you'll KILL them!"
Grace is all for world peace and the continuation of every living species, and I admire that. I do. But I can't live in harmony with these little…jumpy things.
So we vacuumed (correction, I vacuumed), washed her sheets and blankets on hot, and rid her room of Lenny's last iota of bedding.
And as I tripped over the stair gate, my fall cushioned only by a velour blanket and a handful of bed-bug-infested hamster bedding, I caught sight of a little person running by wearing teeny tiny Converse Chucks and greeting, "Mama! Hi!"
And all was again right in my crazy world.
***
Be sure to hop over to LittleHumansBeing.com where, until October 26th, we're hosting a Child Style Magazine giveaway worth $500!
Photo by Egyedg
Loading ...
