Where does family come from?

Just some of the lot of us

Everyone’s got a family story — your history, what made you who you are today. My mom is into genealogy, and spends a lot of time researching records online and scoping out cemeteries. But over the past 8 years, I’ve learned firsthand that while “family” may begin with genetic relationships, for many of us, that’s just a starting point.

My first husband and I divorced when our daughter [now almost 10] was 2. In the next year, he remarried, to a woman who’d been married before and who has a grown son and a daughter-in-law. My daughter was thrilled to have a big brother and big sister of her own. To this day, that’s how she thinks of them. Three years ago, I adopted my son as an infant. And in 2008, I remarried, and we are now expecting.

With all those connections, I have simply expanded my definition of “family.” Today, that word goes far beyond “the people I live with” or “the people who raised me” and certainly “my blood relations.” My kids have a lot of grandparents, for instance. We don’t make distinctions between the sets — they’re all grandparents, and as far as I’m concerned, the more, the better.

It’s not all rainbows and roses when you’re blending this many people into your family. A two-parent, two-kid nuclear family has plenty of conflicts. Throw in so many extra players, and you just multiply that effect. But I learned quickly after my divorce that how you deal with competing interests makes a lot of difference. We are fortunate in our family — as I know many are not — that all the adults have the kids’ best interests at heart. But I will also say, at many turns in the road, we’ve made a conscious choice to get where we are. I’m looking forward to delving into the complexities and delights of blended families more with you here!

Laura Creekmore is mom to the 9yo, the 3yo and the player to be named by mid-May. She and her husband live in Nashville, TN, where she blogs about cooking and random things that strike her fancy at Fixin’ Supper. She’s a web strategist by trade and runs her own company, Creekmore Consulting.