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Valentine’s Day is the day to show those you love how MUCH you love them.. and if you are anything like me I can never think of the perfect gift to do just that! So, over the past couple of years my husband and I have decided to simplify – to do something different than the traditional flowers and chocolate. Here are a few ideas for the men and women in your life that you want to show a little extra love to:

For Him:

1. Books – Nothing says love like a good read! My dad and my hubby are big fans of an intriguing book – from authors like C.S. Lewis and John Grisham. The book by Tim Tebow is something that has been whispered in my ear a few times by my love, so I may have to add that to my “to get” list!

2. Golf – I suppose this would only be a good gift for those you know who actually play golf, but for my husband it is a real treat! Anytime he gets a “free” round, a happy man is he. Maybe you could join your love for a basketball or baseball game, a little frisbee time in the park – just showing an interest in a sport he is passionate about is a great gift.

3. Time Together – A little alone time is something my husband cherishes, so setting aside time to spend together without interruptions (including technology!) is precious.

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H.Bloom believes in celebrating your loved ones year round too. So they are holding the Give Love That Lasts contest. And all you have to do to enter is share a love story with them! You can win the prize that allows you to celebrate throughout the year: H.Bloom flowers delivered every other week for a year, along with a variety of luxury prizes delivered monthly to help celebrate your love all year round.

I love the idea of enjoying fresh flowers not just in the big occasions, but also for everyday. After all, love is an everyday thing when it’s done right and so are flowers. If you live, or know someone who lives, in the Chicago, DC, New York, or San Francisco areas, you will want to check out this contest.

How To Enter
Go to H.Bloom’s Facebook contest page. Nominate yourself or your favorite people who live in New York, DC, Chicago or San Francisco in one of 3 categories:

• New To Love – Couples who have been together for less than 15 years
• Long-Term Love – Couples who have been together for 15 or more years
• Love of Family –  Enduring family bonds

Submit a clear photo with a paragraph describing your love and why you should win. Encourage your friends to vote for you every day, since the judges will select the winners from top 3 most voted for entries in each category.

Grand Prize Winners (1 entry per city, 4 winners)
In each market (NYC, DC, Chicago and San Francisco) there will be 3 category winners (for a total of 12 category winners).  In addition to the category winners, there will be 1 grand prize winner per market (for a total of 4 grand prize winners).

New York

• 1 year long H.Bloom flower subscription from our Classic Collection delivered every other week starting on Valentine’s Day
• Winners will be able to select 12 full size products from luxury skincare line, NATURA BISSÉ (for a total value of $3,000) and receive two one hour facial treatments (value $400 each) at Natura Bisse’s Destino Barcelona facial room located at Bergdorf Goodman.
• 2 nights at Acqualina Resort in Miami, Breakfast and 1 couple’s spa treatment
• Simon Doonan Prize Pack: 1 copy of Gay Men Don’t Get Fat, the Simon Doonan Bouquet from H.Bloom in a Jonathan Adler Vidalia Bud Vase
• 12 pack of blowouts good at any Drybar in NYC (valued at $480)
• A one-year Zipcar membership plus $75 in driving credit

Washington, DC

• 1 year long H.Bloom flower subscription from our Classic Collection delivered every other week starting on Valentine’s Day
• $100 certificate, once of month (12 total) from Passion Foods Hospitality, featuring DC Coast, Acadiana, PassionFish and other fine restaurants.
• Simon Doonan Prize Pack: 1 copy of Gay Men Don’t Get Fat, the Simon Doonan Bouquet from H.Bloom in a Jonathan Adler Vidalia Bud Vase
• A one-year Zipcar membership plus $75 in driving credit

Chicago

• 1 year long H.Bloom flower subscription from our Classic Collection delivered every other week starting on Valentine’s Day
• 1 meal for 2 a month for one year from Truffleberry Market, oven ready delivered straight to your door.
• Simon Doonan Prize Pack: 1 copy of Gay Men Don’t Get Fat, the Simon Doonan Bouquet from H.Bloom in a Jonathan Adler Vidalia Bud Vase
• A one-year Zipcar membership plus $75 in driving credit

San Francisco

• 1 year long H.Bloom flower subscription from our Classic Collection delivered every other week starting on Valentine’s Day
• Monthly wine delivery from Swanson Vineyards
• Simon Doonan Prize Pack: 1 copy of Gay Men Don’t Get Fat, the Simon Doonan Bouquet from H.Bloom in a Jonathan Adler Vidalia Bud Vase
• A one-year Zipcar membership plus $75 in driving credit

Category Prizes (1 Entry Per Category in Each City, 12 winners)

• 1 month long H.Bloom flower subscription from our Classic Collection delivered weekly  starting on Valentine’s Day

Enter by noon 2/14/12 for your chance to win. See H.Bloom’s Facebook contest page for official rules.

Who do you know in these categories from New York, DC, San Francisco, and Chicago areas? This post is a sponsored promotion to help spread the word about H.Bloom’s fabulous giveaway. Luxury prize items provided by: 

Think of Your Spouse

In planning your special day, do not think of what you would like. That might sound like a good idea but more Valentine’s Days have been ruined because of that. Just because you would like to go to a movie does not mean your spouse would. Maybe this is the one time they can get you alone and just talk especially if you have kids.

Ask yourself what your spouse would want on this special day. Do they really want to go to a fancy restaurant? Maybe they would. Do they really want you to buy a dozen roses or would lilies be what they really want? This day is a special day for both of you.

Don’t hesitate to ask your spouse what they would want to do. This doesn’t mean you still can’t surprise them. Use what they say to give you ideas. If your spouse says they want to spend a romantic evening with you and get away from everyone else, consider hosting a candlelight dinner at a friend’s house instead of a crowded restaurant. If they just want to go out to eat without the children, take them to their favorite restaurant.

Show Your Friends Your Silly Side

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"If you do not attend we will...miss those dance moves of yours" - what a funny way to request the date be saved. Make your guests smile. Something Borrowed Blue Old and New"

Here are some fabulous ways to announce your wedding and to ask your guests to Save the Date.

What is your save the date style – traditional, funny, or something different?

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A new year, a fresh start! Here’s our chance to reorganize and prioritize – and the perfect place to begin is in our marriages! What better way to set goals together as a couple than at the beginning of a brand new year. Here are some great examples of ways to “reorganize” together:

Foundation is Key – Having a strong foundation rooted in the Lord and His word is the most important thing in a marriage. If you put Him first, everything else seems to fall into place. Make time to pray together daily, read the Bible or a devotion, and get involved in a small group or church that can help you hold each other accountable.

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Make Time for Each Other – Spending time alone is crucial. Make sure you set aside time daily to talk and unwind together, and once a month plan a date night. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant – simply dinner out or a movie night after the kids go to bed.

Communicate – Talk to each other. If there seems to be tension or one of you is frustrated, speak up! Talking things through calmly works so much better than holding feelings in and getting angry later on. Communication is so important to learn about each other. We grow and change daily – our interests, habits, etc. Learn about each other.. don’t become strangers.

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Set Realistic Goals – Work together on setting a goal for the year. Whether it’s as a couple or as a family, planning together and helping each other achieve that goal will give you both a feeling of accomplishment and closeness. It is a neat thing to look back and see how the goal was met and what good came from it!

Most importantly, remember to cherish every moment spent together – alone or with your family. Each year is one giant blur, so make every second count! Enjoy this new beginning and make it great.

Take a Walk in the Snow - if you are lucky enough to live in an area that gets quite a bit of snow, this is the perfect idea for a time of quiet and reflection for the both of you. Snow is magical, and even more so when holding the hand of the one you love. And a snowball fight here and there would be okay too!

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Cozy Up by the Fire - Nothing is more romantic than a quiet evening by the fire! Put the kids to bed early (yes, you can do that!) and snuggle up with a throw and some hot chocolate. Talk about your favorite Christmas memories or turn on some carols and just enjoy being together.

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See Christmas Lights - One of my favorite things to do is to drive around town and look at Christmas lights. Pop some carols in and stop by your favorite coffee shop to fuel up. Here in our town we also have an awesome “Enchanted Garden of Lights” that is a holiday tradition for me and my husband. Take advantage of this beautiful time of year and get out there to find the best light display ever!

Holiday Movie Marathon - “It’s a Wonderful Life“, “Christmas Vacation“, “Home Alone“, these are just a few of our beloved holiday movie collection. A great date-night-in would be a holiday movie marathon with some popcorn and hot cocoa or spicy cider. A great way to cozy up and reconnect during this busy time.

Even though the Christmas season is hectic, making alone time for each other is so important. Create holiday memories and traditions for just the two of you with these tips or other great “dates”.

Have a Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

Protect Your Quality Time

It can never be stressed enough how important quality time is. The holidays disrupt everything in your lives including your quality time. If you really want to help your marriage, guard this time. Guard it tightly. Say “No” to events that will take this time away from you. You need to keep that time where it is just the two of you. Even if it is just a drive down a country road or to see the holiday lights you need to get away from the hustle and bustle and focus just on the two of you.

Count to 10

Stress is at its highest point during the holidays. It is easy to snap at someone and start fighting. Remember to count to 10. Take a deep breath and count to 10 before saying what you really want to say. What you want to say and what you should say are usually two different things. As your mouth opens to bite their heads off from all the stress you’re under, stop. Breathe in. Count to 10. Now, speak calmly.

Pampering Yourself

This might sound self-centered, but a day at the spa or just a 15 minute massage can help your marriage. What happens when you paper yourself? You let the stress that is eating you up flow away. What better way to help your marriage than to remove the stress that is making it hard to have a happy marriage? Take time and paper yourself at least once. Maybe make it a couple’s time together. Tell the world goodbye and enjoy some peace.

Agree Upon a Plan

Before you get bombarded with guests and parties, agree upon a plan. When the stress gets too much, have a signal or plan to get out of things. Some people can really add to the stress level. There could be situations that can make one or both of you uncomfortable. Make a plan on how to get out of it gracefully even as far as leaving the event.

Remember You’re a Team

All that stress can have you fighting against each other. Remember that you are a team. You need to work together during this time. When one begins to stress out, make the time for them to get away and relax. Take on a little extra just for a moment. They’ll do the same for you when you begin to have a nervous breakdown.

Tell Your Spouse You Love Them

Never forget to tell your spouse that you love them. Though you might want to strangle them at any given moment, stop to tell them those special words. Make it even more personal. Have small gifts to give your spouse every morning and evening. It could be a card or a stone you picked up outside. The point is to tell them that you care and to remind yourself of the special relationship the two of you have. These little acts will help strengthen your marriage. The holidays are a time of celebrating. It is a time of stress.

Don’t let either one get between you and your love. Save your marriage by making your marriage more important than any event that you have planned and more important than any family gathering. You’ll enjoy the holidays so much more.

What do They do?

You might stop at this point and wonder what they do that you need to make extra strides in thanking them. If you do, don’t worry. You are not alone. Most couples do that the longer they have been married. It’s not out of meanness. It’s out of being used to it for so long.

Your spouse actually does a lot of things. And, yes, there is a lot he doesn’t do. But let’s focus on what he does do.

• Does he take out the trash?
• Does he give you a massage when you need it or even without asking?
• Does he call you in the middle of the day to just talk?
• Does he get your favorite ice cream when he stops at the store?
• Every now and then, does he surprise with a gift?
• Does he let you pick out a show sometimes?
• Does he enjoy you spending time with your friends?
• Does he wear the cap and gloves you made him?
• Does he compliment your outfits?
• Does he cuddle you when watching the TV?
• Has he given up a day doing “his thing” when you really needed someone?
• Does he periodically make breakfast for you?

There are so many things that he might do for you that escape your notice. Maybe he even opens the door for you all the time. These are special things that you can show gratitude for.

How to Show Gratitude to Your Spouse

You don’t have to throw a big party or buy him a car to show gratitude though  he probably wouldn’t mind either one of those. Small acts of love and gratitude go a long way.

• Let him go watch the game on your date night once
• Buy him something he has been really wanting. It doesn’t have to be expensive. A fishing lure might do the trick.
• Give him a neck rub or massage.
• Watch a game or show with him that you normally don’t watch.
• Say “no” to the girls one night just to be with him.
• Make him his favorite dish.
• Tell others how great he is when he is within earshot to hear.
• Take out the trash for him one week.
• Get romantic and wear his favorite outfit.
• Slip a poem or romantic note in his briefcase.
• Call him in the middle of the day and tell him how much you love him.

The more “little things” you do, the more he’ll notice how much you appreciate what he does. You might even find out that he does a little more around the house. At least you can hope that happens.

A marriage grows stronger when each person knows they are appreciated. Large gifts are great for the moment, but the little actions of love and gratitude go a long way.

The holiday season is my most favorite time of year! Thanksgiving is a big deal for our family – we spend it with about 20 people in close quarters for 5 days.. and love every minute! So many memories and traditions have come from this annual get-together. It is something that I did before we got married, and knew it would be a trip we would carry on forever.

Thankfully my husband and his sweet family have no problem with us spending every Thanksgiving with my side, but other couples may not be as lucky! It is definitely challenging when deciding whose family and whose house to visit over the holidays. Compromise is key. We chose to spend Thanksgiving with my family, and Easter with my husband’s side. It has worked out nicely through the years. For us switching out holidays does well, but every couple has to do what is best for them and their families. Each holiday is important, but sacrifices have to be made when deciding where to go.

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One of the biggest things to remember is that YOUR family – you, your husband, and the kiddos are most important. If there are arguments or hard feelings about which holidays you spend where, simple have it at home with just you and yours. Nice and peacful. Next year is a new year and maybe a solution will come, but for now just enjoy every moment surrounded by those you love. And enjoy that turkey and pumpkin pie!

For the sports fan in your life who knows that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, this NFL Toaster allows him to start his day with a dose of his favorite sports team. It’s available in several different teams (and there are even waffle irons with your favorite team’s logo!), retailing for $39.99.

If the man in your life loves his iPhone (and who doesn’t?) this fun plunger phone stand from Perpetual Kid will help prop his phone on his desk while he works (or watches Netflix Streaming in the office while pretending to work). At just $5.99, this will make a fun stocking stuffer and bring a smile to your man’s face.

If the man in your life is a music lover and you’re looking for a “green”-er gift idea, these excellent bowls by designer Jeff Davis are a unique way to repurpose vinyl records. At $26.99, they add a touch of style to your home and appeal to your interests of the man in your life without breaking the bank.

For the man who truly has everything else in life, why not buy him… a piece of Ireland? For just $49.99 you can buy a square foot plot of land in Ireland. Plane ticket to visit your new property not included.

If you have a health conscious man in your life, why not give him the option of making his own protein shakes and bars? For $39.99, YouBar will provide a gift certificate which can be redeemed by your recipient for 13 custom energy bars, protein shakes, trail mixes or cereals. With a variety of protein options and flavor and ingredient options, this unique gift can be fun and healthy.

One for him…one for you? How about a gift certificate for his-and-hers massages at a local spa? Give him the gift of time spent together, relaxing and getting pampered. Treat yourself to some time together – and follow it up with a quiet night out on the town!

Does he swoon over the great green expanses of fields while watching baseball? Give him the gift of turning his own yard into a beautiful emerald sight to behold. For under $100, he can create his own gorgeous landscape, and be the envy of all his neighbors.

Vegetables as decor? Why not?

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Source: Cozy Living

Almost every wedding had virtually the same centerpieces (save for the color of the roses). Thankfully, wedding decor has evolved and there are some truly unique centerpiece ideas out there.

Your wedding decor can be every bit as original as you want it to be – whether that means incorporating asparagus… or not. Which of these do you like?

A marriage is a wonderful union of two people who love each other. Nowhere does it say
that you have to have much in common to fall in love. But it is important that you find activities that they can do together to help strengthen the bonds of that union.

Different Interests

The odds are that the husband and wife have very different interests. You are, after all, two unique individuals. Having different interests is great. You shouldn’t be doing everything together, but you don’t want to take it too far. Why? Letting the different interests rule your marriage can damage your relationship.

Having different interests that keep you separate can put quite a bit of distance between a husband and wife. If a husband is so obsessed with his hunting, he could be telling his wife that hunting is more important than she is. The same can be said about a woman who would rather go shopping with friends or be involved in outside activities.

What can you do about it? Find a common interest that the two of you can share.

Finding that Common Interest

You sit down and you think of the things you have in common. An hour goes by and you find that you’ve come up with…… zilch! Don’t get depressed. It happens to most couples, but a common interest is there. You just can’t see it yet.

Start off by looking at the other person’s interests. Are you sure you might not be interested in some of those? Maybe your husband’s fishing always seemed interesting. If you’ve never gone, how do you know that you don’t like it? Try your spouse’s interests and see if they appeal to you. You might find that something your love does is the perfect couple’s activity.

If nothing your spouse likes grabs your attention, then look for things that you both might like but just never tried. For example, have either of you ever tried gardening? Maybe you could spend the days working together in the soil and finding something you never knew you liked.

There are so many things out there that couples can do together. A short list is:

• Cycling – Getting out and getting exercise is a great activity you can do together.
• Genealogy research – Spending time looking over your family’s history can actually be a great activity for couples. You can learn so much about each other.
• Collecting items – You can collect anything. If you find that you both like antique trains, start spending time visiting antique malls and rummage sales.
• Rock hounding – This is a great activity if you both find it interesting. You can spend the day outside during good weather spells collecting the rocks and spend the day inside when it’s bad pouring over what you found.
• Remodeling – Some couples have found that they love to remodel and fix up things. Some have even bought run down homes and made it a couple’s activity in restoring them.
• Hiking – This is another outdoor activity that can give you quality time together and time outside getting exercise.
• Snowshoeing – Don’t let winter get you down. If you love cycling together in the summer, try snowshoeing in the winter.
• Volunteering – Try volunteering together in your community. There is the volunteer fire department, schools, and many other organizations that you could work together with.
• Learning/Teaching – How about going back to school together? Do you both like to learn and talk about various subjects? Go back to school and learn together. Maybe you could teach together. Couples have found that they can teach remodeling or other activities to others. Share your interests.
• Dancing – Have you taken dance classes? Maybe you’re both light on your feet and didn’t know it.
• Cooking – Take a cooking class together. Try making new ethnic dishes together.

You might find a good activity that you and your spouse will love to do. Maybe it could
become a life passion that you can fulfill together. Couples around the world have found that something they love to do together is a great business venture.

Ask yourself, “What have I always wanted to do?” Make a list. Have your spouse do the same. See what you have in common or if something on their list is a new idea you never thought of but are now interested. Experiment.

Keep trying new activities until you find a common interest. Don’t just give in and do what the other one wants. Find something you both like and can do with joy. You want to spend quality time together doing something fun.

When I think of fall I think of reds and browns, sunflowers and mums, hay and pumpkins, barns and fields dotted with brightly colored trees.. so I thought a perfect setting for a fall wedding would be on a farm.

A rustic barn would be a great location for the reception, while the open field (praying for good weather of course) could be where the ceremony takes place.

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An array of bright mums, sunflowers, wheat, and anything else that nature has in store for this beautiful season would make lovely bouquets and table arrangements.

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The cake – oh my! So many ideas! The traditional white wedding cake would be splendid with fall colored roses cascading down, but my favorite is this chocolate cake – looks delicious and beautiful too!

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And what better way to say welcome at an Autumn wedding than by greeting guests with apple cider?

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A wedding wouldn’t be complete without saying thank you to your guests, so great favors are a must. Some great ideas would be candy apples, small jars of honey, a bundle of small cinnamon sticks – anything that speaks “fall” will be a treat!

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I loved looking through photos and articles to get ideas, so many beautiful weddings! Fall is a wonderful season of color, coziness, peace, and preparation.. What a lovely season for a wedding.

Date Night Ideas:

Dinner for Two After the Kiddos are in Bed- Make a simple dinner or have leftovers for the kids, then after they are tucked away snug as bugs, you and your man can cook a light dinner together or one of you can make a run for your favorite take-out. Set a romantic table with candles aglow, turn down the lights with a little music and voila! Instant dinner date.

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Movie Night – Probably the most common “date” for most couples is a movie night. Pop some popcorn and snuggle up on the couch to watch a favorite flick. Don’t forget to take turns picking a movie, but sometimes watching an old classic can fan that romantic flame!

Picnic After Dark – This is probably one of my favorite “dates” with my husband. On a nice night, put the kids to bed a little early and head outside with some coffee and dessert to chat and just enjoy being together. For a little more fun, have a dessert “picnic” and spread a blanket on the lawn, lie back and look at the stars together while you munch yummy snacks.

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Just a few ideas to get those creative juices flowing! No matter what you may choose to do, just spending time together each day for a little reconnection is so important. Now get to planning and enjoy your date!

Meddling In-Laws

More movies, books, and television shows have centered around the in-law relationship than almost any other topic. We laugh and we cry as we watch the stereotypical relationships do their own version of the tango. But we sometimes forget how destructive this interference can , especially by in-laws, when they begin to meddle in the marriage.

Not all in-laws are the same. They “meddle” in different degrees and different ways. Some do it subtly while others are much more obvious about their actions. Some do it intentionally while others have no clue what they’re doing. One might want to destroy the marriage while another thinks they are helping it.

What does it mean to meddle? The Webster dictionary defines meddle as “to interest oneself in what is not one’s concern : interfere without right or propriety”. In-laws that meddle are the ones who want to be involved in all aspects of a married couple’s life and to have the final say. Good intentions or bad, the results could be the same.

Understanding Marriage Boundaries

There are boundaries in every area of life. Some are very prominent while others are more subtle. No matter how obvious they are, boundaries are important. They are what keep us safe and help us to grow. With no boundaries, there is only chaos.

When a marriage occurs, there is a shift in the world. Instead of the two belonging to their families, they now are one. They form a whole new entity while remaining attached to the other families. This new entity is the foundation for a new family and a new journey.

Within the marriage, lessons have to be learned and discoveries have to be made. This can only be done when the marriage boundaries are respected. Parents might watch their young ones making mistakes and want to guide them, but in most areas of a marriage they need to find it out on their own.

The relationship between a husband and wife is sacred and shouldn’t be meddled with. Neither should other aspects of their marriage including children. The boundaries are there to keep the family strong and together.

What it Means to Honor Your Parents

Meddling is accepted by many because they say their children should continue to honor their parents. This can cause a lot of problems including the destruction of the marriage all because the meaning of the word “honor” is not completely understood.

Webster’s defines honor as “to regard or treat (someone) with admiration and respect”. This does not mean that the children are to obey their parents after they have begun a new life as an adult with their family. Honor is not absolute submission. It’s respect. It’s not slavery.

Honor your parents by speaking respectfully to them. When you ask for their advice, listen with respect. What you do with that advice is something entirely different. They’ve been through the marriage journey already.

In-laws might have good intentions, but when they remind their children that they are to be honored they are really saying that they are to be obeyed which can only lead to disastrous results. It’s a misunderstanding of the word.

Honoring While Protecting Your Marriage

So, how can you honor both sets of parents while protecting your marriage? It’s a slippery slope that needs to be taken cautiously and never recklessly.

1. Determine who’s more important – This is not saying that you don’t love your parents or won’t do anything for them. But you do need to decide who the love of your life is. Is it your husband/wife? Or is it your parents? You can still love and honor parents, but your spouse should become the focus of your life once you’re married. If they’re not, then your parents are actually in control.
2. Agree as a couple what the boundaries are – This is extremely important. If you don’t agree as a couple, friction is going to happen and could turn into a blazing wildfire. You both need to agree whether or not in-laws can just walk into your home anytime. You both need to agree how much say is given to them in regard to how your children are raised. You have to stand as a strong fortress together.
3. Never address an issue with anger –When boundaries have been breached, don’t address them in anger. Wait until a level head is present and then discuss the situation with the parents. This is respecting them while keeping your marriage secure.
4. Set the boundaries as early as possible – Boundaries need to be set even before the marriage. The longer the boundaries are wide open, the harder it will be to close them. These boundaries are not there to be mean to others. They are there to protect your marriage and strengthen it.
5. Be polite even when you have to be firm – Firmness will be required. You can’t show weakness, but you don’t have to be mean. Politeness is important. This is giving them the respect they deserve as ones who raised you into the adult you are.
6. Be humble – You can make mistakes. Admit them and ask for forgiveness. But don’t let that be a way for the boundaries to topple down. Stay strong while being humble. It can be done.
7. Let love rule – Always show your love when establishing, reinforcing or repairing the boundaries. You still your parents, but a new phase of your life has opened up and is just as important as honoring your parents.

Spending a lifetime with your very best friend, your partner, your help-mate is an adventure. Happiness in marriage is a must if you want that adventure to be fun, long, and well, happy, right? The sad thing is too many marriages end because the couple just wasn’t “happy” anymore. Happiness is a choice. It is a feeling – an emotion that reflects surrounding circumstances. Joy and happiness are very different, so how do you create and keep happiness in your marriage?

Prioritize – Putting your spouse first is the most loving, selfless thing you could do. By thinking of each other’s needs and making an absolute effort to spend time together number one, your marriage will blossom.

Date – Don’t forget to date each other every now and then! Visit meaningful places and just enjoy each other’s company. Friendship in marriage is key. Keep each other laughing!

Sacrifice – Each couple has selfish desires. Sacrificing for one another can be hard, but it is crucial in keeping your marriage strong. Doing an activity or going on an outing you may not enjoy, but will make your spouse happy is sacrifice! But seeing that smile on their face as they enjoy sharing something they love with you is priceless.

Just Have Fun – God brought you together to enjoy each other – so make each day matter. Do kind things for one another, listen, laugh, and live!

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Happiness in marriage is a sweet, precious gift that you both can give each other. Just remember that you are friends, a team, and know each other better than anyone else. You can wake each day with that special gift by your side – now how much happier can you get?

What is a Strong Marriage?

Marriage is all too often gone into thinking that it is something easily handled and/or easily set aside. Strong marriages have become something of a myth in many families, sadly. The divorce rate increases as does the number of multiple marriages. So what makes a strong marriage?

Determination – Marriage is not a picture from Norman Rockwell. It’s not always a walk through the clouds. It needs determination to overcome all problems and continue on no matter how bad it gets.

Forgiveness – Without forgiveness a marriage is nothing but a feather in the midst of a tropical storm. Every person in the marriage makes mistakes which means a lot of forgiveness from the other person. Only with forgiveness can a person go forward and make the union even stronger.

Respect – There has to be respect between both parties. This is not love or passion. It’s a view of honoring the other person and treating them as their position as your spouse deserves. This means not talking bad about them, not degrading them in front of others, and supporting their dreams.

What a Strong Marriage Gives to the Future

As you develop a strong marriage, you are setting an example for your children. They watch you even when you think they are blind to your actions. They see how you interact and treat each other.

When they grow up, they will take what they have learned and apply it to their own marriages. If they see a father who degrades his wife in front of others, sons will more likely do the same to their wives. The daughters will expect to be treated like dirt and actually be drawn to men who do that.

Leaving a legacy of a strong marriage will help ensure longer lasting marriages and strong families in the coming up generations.

How to Develop a Strong Marriage

Strong marriages aren’t the luck of the draw or based on fortune cookies. It takes work that starts with the desire to do it.

1. Want it – You have to want something to achieve it.
2. Humility – Have humility and be willing to admit when you are wrong.
3. Compromise – Even when you are right, it might not be worth the fight to prove it.
4. Servitude – Don’t be a slave, but serve your spouse by bringing them a glass of iced tea in the hot sun or volunteer to get them a cup of coffee as you watch the sunrise.
5. Honeyed Words – Speak with words full of sweet honey. Don’t be nasty to your spouse. Give him or her praise and recognition.
6. Flexible – Be willing to start over or reassess what you’re doing.

Plan Together

You’ll find that most couples have trouble with hosting parties because one of them plans it and communication falls to the wayside. One doesn’t realize that they are grilling. The other assumes they are watching movies. It could be anything that brings the two of you yelling and at each other’s throats.

Plan it together. If you are having a cookout, then discuss where everyone will be eating and what other outside activities there will be. Plan anything for the inside and even plan the weather backup plan. The key is to not to plan too detailed at first. You’ve started the communication process. Don’t overload it.

Talk About It

You start off by planning it together. As the days go by for the party, discuss with your spouse any changes you have done or any new ideas. Instead of grilling, you want to have sandwiches. Talk about it with the guy who was so excited about doing the grilling. You might end up going back to grilling in the end. Who knows! Talk about it.

Communication is a flow of ideas and thoughts from one person to another. Don’t assume that your spouse knows what you are thinking and is always on the same page. One big fight starter in a marriage is for one spouse to have made a decision and tells everyone but the one that should have been told first. Talk about it!

Understand “Hosting”

Hosting a party does not mean that you sit in one spot and talk to one person. You can do that if you are a guest, but hosting a party could mean that you barely get to visit anyone. You have a duty to take care of all your guests.

Look at it like this. A wife is in the kitchen trying to get the last of the snacks and drinks together. She is doing it with the help of a few friends, but irritation is sitting in because she is noticing that the grill is not warming up. Where is that husband? She finds him over with his three best friends discussing the draft. Thoughts of murder course through her. The scene could be switched with the husband finding the woman going through new clothes she bought or the latest baby pictures with the guests instead of doing what she had agreed to do as part of her hosting.

The point is that when you host a party, you should never leave your spouse hanging. Always keep in touch!

Keep in Touch During the Party

Too often a spouse will disappear with their friends during a party and leave the other one hanging. This is not going to help your marriage. You should always be aware of where your spouse is and keep in communication about any issues. If the husband is more aware of his wife than their friends, he will notice quickly that she is struggling with the trash, the food, or even a guest. Arriving to the rescue brings a smile to her face and wipes away all regret for even hosting the event.

You don’t have to stay by their side. In fact, never do that. But always have that “lover” radar on. Hosting a party can kill your marriage because it emphasizes the neglect one party feels and makes them feel alone. If you stay in touch and communicate from the planning stage all the way through the clean up, you will find that you actually strengthen your marriage.

Have fun hosting this summer and creating a marriage that stands up against the winds.

I recently attended my little brother’s wedding (it was beautiful!) and it made me reflect on my marriage and our first year together as a couple. While giving advice to my brother, I remembered how challenging yet exciting that first year can be. Marriage is a new beginning. The blending together of two lives into one – a beautiful picture! That doesn’t mean it is easy – here is a month-by-month guide on ways to make that first year go a little more smoothly.

Months 1-3 – Getting to Know You
These are the months of getting used to each other. The “honeymoon phase”. Little quirks, messy ways, maybe even a little selfishness, will all be exposed and you will have to work hard to start ironing those issues out. Try sitting down together and making a list of specific things or ways you like things accomplished, cleaned up, etc. and talk about working together. Communication is key! Living together opens a whole new door of “getting to know” each other, so it is crucial to be open-minded.

Months 4-6 – Expectations
It is so easy to fall into the trap of expecting too much from each other. Most of the time your husband won’t know that you want him to be more helpful around the house, just like you won’t know that he wants to spend more intimate time together. Marriage is all about communicating - sounds simple, but is always harder than we think! Don’t be afraid to ask your spouse to help out or to set aside more time for each other. You both aren’t mind readers after all!

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Months 7-9 – Date
Don’t forget to date each other! What? That’s right – the honeymoon will, quite frankly, end a lot quicker if you let that spark fizzle out. Start the tradition of having a date night, and stick with it as best you can! Even when you begin a family and life gets a little more hectic, keep each other as a priority.

Months 10-12 – Celebration
Most importantly, celebrate this sacred life you are creating together. Every day is a new adventure, a new journey – with your best friend and life partner by your side. When the first year comes to a close, look back at how quickly it passed and how far you have come as a married couple. So much more to look forward to!

Marriage is a beautiful picture of Christ’s love for us, so cherish your spouse and enjoy your first year and every year hereafter!

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Touch More Often

Much of romance comes from physical touch. Being in a marriage over time, you begin to touch less often. Be conscious of doing it. When you see your spouse, just lightly touch the back of their hand. If they are cooking, place your hand on their back gently. Walking by them, reach out and brush against their shoulder or touch their hair. Those little touches go a long way in conveying your feelings and keeping that spark a live.

Go Out on Regular Dates

Don’t be shy! Ask your spouse out. Nothing should be stopping you. All too often, married couples find themselves going months without having a date. When children are in the mix, it could even be longer. Never let that become the norm. Romance between the two of you needs that alone time. You need to be without family and friends around and concentrate on the two of you. Don’t go where one of you will end of talking to everybody around you but your love. They should be the only one you see.

Surprise Them With Tokens

Nothing says romance like a small gift for no reason at all. Having a wildflower picked on the side of the road given just because makes a girl’s heart skip a beat. Slipping a note with lipstick lips on it into the briefcase makes him catch his breath before starting his busy work day. These don’t cost you anything except a few moments of thinking of them. That excitement begins to revive itself.

Have a Mid-Day Tryst

When you first began seeing each other, you would do anything to spend time with each other. That should be happening again. Arrange a mid-day tryst. Act adventurous and spend your lunch hour together. You might be surprised how those moments alone during the crazy days that normally pull you apart actually bring you closer together. You might find yourself touching your love more often and making more tokens of your love.

Talk About It

Have you ever talked to each other about what makes your heart skip and your breath catch? Most married couples don’t. They assume the other one knows. Never assume anything in a marriage.

During one of your dates, talk about what makes you quiver inside and want to spend time with them. It could be as simple as having the TV off more often. It could be missing the hugs you once got. Maybe a kiss when you least expect it. When they look at you across the room of a party and wink might do it. The little things can do so much in the romance department.

Most marriages need a romance makeover. There is no need to attend seminars or buy volumes of books. All you need to do is pay closer attention to your spouse and show them signs of your love. Touch them, date them, gift them, and romance them. You will begin to notice how other forms of romance begin to enter the picture unconsciously. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be serenaded one night.

Father’s Day is approaching fast and I am always stuck on gift ideas for my husband. Our son usually makes him something cute and crafty, or we get him a funny card – ya know, cool father-son stuff! But, when it comes to a gift from me.. no ideas. Well, this year I have decided to do something different. Instead of a “gift” from me, I want to show him how much I admire and appreciate him as a father and parenting partner. I think sometimes we forget to tell our husbands how much we appreciate them and give them encouragement for what they help us with daily. I plan on doing that more from now on; certainly more than just one day!

Here are some great little ideas for making his day special:

- Small notes of encouragement taped to the bathroom mirror reminding him how much you love him and appreciate him.

- If you can steal his phone for a bit, program reminders to “alarm” throughout his day and give him little boosts of confidence for work, spending time with the kids, etc.

- After the kids go to bed, set aside a time for the two of you to have a “date“, share a favorite dessert, watch his favorite show, or just spend time talking about the day.

- A great gift for my husband would be to go “golfing” with him – for me it would be riding along in the cart, but he just enjoys me being with him while he does something he loves. So grab a wrench if he loves working on cars, take a run with him, bike through the park – just let him know you are interested in him and what he enjoys!

There are so many things you can do for him to make “his day” and any other day special. I think it means a lot, maybe even more, when our husbands get our praise for them being a great dad and not only from the kids. So, start planning ladies! They deserve it.

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Friday night used to be “date night”, when it was just the two of us. With a newborn and a five year old, not much date night -type stuff going on around here. But, I must say I honestly don’t miss it. “What” – you say? Don’t get me wrong, we have the occasional date night where the grandparents come over and keep the kids and we go out to dinner and what-not. But now, Friday night has morphed into “family night” and I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

Spending time together as a family has helped my husband and I grow closer in so many ways. We are able to enjoy our kids – watching them live and love life. Seeing things through a child’s eyes is always better, don’t you think? Doing things together gives us such a good foundation of what our marriage should be about anyway – family. All other things are shoved aside when it’s time to make plans for family time.

Whether you set aside a special night, enjoy walks in the evenings after dinner (which we do too, by the way – great way to wind down and end the day), or maybe a family devotion time before bed – family time is so beneficial to you and your spouse. Here are some ways it can benefit your family, building a better marriage:

- It allows you to enjoy what the two of you have created. Sometimes I look at my kids and see my husband so clearly – maybe in looks or mannerisms. I am reminded of why I love him so much and how awesome it is to see the fruit of our relationship – God’s ultimate design for marriage!

-Having a solid foundation for your children and yourselves as a couple is crucial in the family establishment. Nothing makes a better foundation than spending time together. Yes, this will get harder as the children get older and have different activities and interests – but always set aside time for you to spend together , even once a week.

- I am all about tradition. I love continuing traditions from my childhood and adding new ones for my own kids. This is a great way to spend time together and make wonderful memories. Your kids will look back and be so grateful for the times you spent as a family making them – even small ones.

- What better way to get to know your spouse all over again than when you see them interacting with your kids! Sometimes just watching my husband with my son gives me a little glimpse of what he might have been like as a child and truly proves what a wonderful man he has become. It squeezes my heart and makes me love him all the more.

There are so many ways to spend time together – get creative! Have fun and enjoy each other. Then when the kiddos are in bed, sit down and share with each other what a great day or time you had. Communicate, listen, learn, and grow in love.

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Mother’s Day is around the corner. It is a time for children to honor their mother’s for all the love and sacrifice that she has given them. Yet, gift-giving is not just for the children. There are times for the husband to give his wife a Mother’s Day gift.

You, as a husband, might be contemplating what to get your own mother for Mother’s Day. Thinking of getting your wife something might be far from your thoughts. Stop where you are! They need to be right alongside the thoughts of your mother. Why? Take a look at these questions.

1. Is your wife expecting a bundle of joy?
2. Are your children still living at home?
3. Have your children left the nest?

An answer of “yes” to any of these questions is a sure sign that you should be looking at getting your lovely wife a Mother’s Day gift. If nothing else, you will be telling her how much you appreciate all she has done for your children and that you appreciate all the sacrifices she made on their behalf.

Possible Gifts for Your Wife

There are hundreds of great gift ideas for your wife. What is perfect for one woman might not be the best idea for another. Yes, there are some women who might like to get a vacuum cleaner as a gift, but for Mother’s Day you really want to make it extra special. Make the gift something to remember for years to come. Here are a few ideas to help you along.

• Breakfast in bed and more – So many little children like to make breakfast in bed for mom on her special day. Dad can help get that done and make it even more special. Let the children add the sweetness by making it and delivering with flowers and a kiss. Dad’s greatest gift would be to clean the kitchen so that mom gets the biggest surprise of all when she finds a sparkling kitchen after such a magnificent breakfast.

• Picnic – Depending on the weather in your area, take your wife for a picnic. This can be very romantic for a couple expecting their first child or a couple with children who are more than eager to play on the swing sets. A thick blanket to cushion her from the ground and delicious finger foods can make the day very beautiful and relaxing.

• Day of pampering – Give your wife what every mother would love – peace and quiet. Send her to the spa for a new hairdo, facial, manicure, pedicure, and/or massage. She will be a new woman.

• Concert – Is there a concert playing that she has been wishing to attend? Get a babysitter lined up and take her out on the town. Give her a night of stars and music with you by her side.

• Charm Bracelet – Jewelry is always a safe bet as a gift for Mother’s Day. Give her a bracelet with pictures of your children in the charms. This is a sweet gift that will last for years and give her moments throughout the day to think of her children and think of your thoughtfulness.

Don’t forget your own mother, but never forget your wife who is a mother, too. Give her a gift that will make her cry with tears of love. Give her your undivided attention and love. Let her know that you are proud that she is the mother of her children.

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Finding time to exercise can be difficult when you’re single, but it can be even harder when you’re married and already trying to add couple time to your busy schedule.  Why not combine the two?

The benefits of exercising together are myriad:  built-in couple time, a double endorphin boost, and two fit bodies with more energy for other things—sound good?  If the idea of walking/running/swimming doesn’t  appeal to you, it’s time to check out the wider world of athletics!  Get out of your comfort zone and try one of these activities to tone your bodies.

Dust off your bikes. If you’re last bike had a banana seat, it’s time to try again.  Riding bikes is a good starting point for couples exercise, because there’s not much of a learning curve.  You already know how to ride a bike; now you just have to discover where to ride in your town.  Map out a route, grab your water and helmets, and away you go!

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Find your om.  If you’re idea of couples yoga is based solely on watching Vince Vaughn in Couples Retreat, you need a new paradigm!  Yoga doesn’t build your cardio endurance in the same way running does, but boy can it help you build strength and define muscles you forgot about years ago!  To try yoga together, you can attend a class in your community, hire a private instructor, or just buy a DVD (or borrow one from your library).  If you’re used to fast-paced body pump classes, yoga will take some getting used to—but give it a chance. After a few sessions, you’ll find it strangely addicting.

Hit the water.  When the weather warms up, the kayaks call.  If you’ve never kayaked, make this the year you give it a try.  Find an outfitter at a nearby lake and spend a morning working your upper body and enjoying the beauty of nature together.   Ahhh, peace.

Regardless of how you get your exercise, be sure to celebrate afterwards with fresh fruit, rather than grabbing a carb or calorie laden snack.   You’ll both feel better and more fit, and you can start planning your next couples exercise adventure.

Make Time for Your Friends

An important part of maintaining a friendship is making time for each other. Make the commitment to talk to each other as often as possible, and if you live close to each other, make time to get together. If you find that it’s difficult to meet up without advance notice, schedule a specific time on your calendar or begin a weekly routine. For example, you could designate a weekly “girls’ night” in which the two of you meet up for dinner or drinks.

Use Technology to Stay Connected

Keep communication consistent by devising a routine that works for both of your schedules. When get-togethers are not an option, make good use of the plethora of technology available to you, such as phone calls, text messages, and e-mails. Social networking websites such as Facebook and Twitter can be especially effective in exchanging messages and keeping up-to-date on the happenings in your friends’ lives, while Skype can be invaluable to keeping in touch when you’re far apart.

Be an Equal Contributor

One-sided friendships rarely last for the long haul, so be sure to do your share of contributing. Focus on what you can give to your friendships rather than what you can get out of them.

Be an Active Listener

Most likely, you’ve known someone who only likes to talk about her own life and doesn’t care about anyone else. Don’t be that type of friend. Take a genuine interest in your friends’ lives, and be an active listener when they are talking. Comment and ask questions, but be cautious about offering advice unless they ask for it.

Be Understanding

No one is perfect, so cut your friends a little slack. Don’t take it too personally if a friend cancels plans, forgets something that’s important to you, or doesn’t call you back in a timely manner. Unless it happens repeatedly, it’s most likely that your friend didn’t intend to be thoughtless; perhaps extenuating circumstances, like problems at home or work, influenced her actions.

Friends are invaluable, as they provide support, companionship, greater levels of happiness, and lower levels of stress. If you feel any of your friendships slipping away, now is the time to make the effort to get reconnected!