Image by Eugene Wei

We’ve all heard the research on the importance of families sitting down and eating together.  Sharing the family dinner is supposed to make our kids smarter as well as help them stay off drugs and alcohol.  Even if we can manage to clear the kid’s schedules, the parent’s schedules, get the homework done, and get some actual food on the table, there’s no guarantee that anyone will enjoy the experience.  What do we talk about?  How do we eat together without fighting?

Being at the table together can sometimes be more stressful than the hoops we have to jump through to get there.  Through trial and error (mostly error) my family has found some ways to insure we enjoy the experience of eating together.

• Dine by candlelight.  If your children are past the age of reaching and grabbing, try placing some tea lights or other candles near the center of the table.  No tablecloths for this meal (too easy to pull the candles over) and keep safety a priority (no candlesticks).  It is amazing how one or two candles will make the meal seem special and calm everyone down.  And mom gets the added bonus of looking better by candlelight.
• Use a conversation boosting book.  You can find numerous small books specifically designed to spark family conversation during meals.  Two we have enjoyed are Around the Family Table:  365 Mealtime Conversations for Parents and Children by Ronda Coleman and The Conversation Piece by Bret Nicholaus and Paul Lowrie.  These books contain open-ended questions such as “If you were able to create a new national holiday, what would it be and how would we celebrate it?” and “If you could change into any animal what would it be?”.  We also learned that we had to declare that everyone had to respect each other’s answers - no ridiculing.
• Use cloth napkins and actual dinnerware.  A cloth napkin (I made several from inexpensive fabric) and inexpensive but real plates can also set a more inviting tone.  If you want to set a mood where people will linger at the table long enough to share stories about their day, make the table comfortable and inviting.  Also look at your chairs.  When we placed inexpensive pads (that we wouldn’t scream over if they got ruined) in our wooden chairs, we all wanted to stay at the table longer.
• Turn off the TV, let the machine answer the phone, and ban electronics from the table.  Common sense? Yes.  But increasingly harder to do for most of us.  Nothing shows the kids you are focused on them more than hearing the phone ring and saying “It’s dinnertime.  Let’s allow the machine to pick it up.”  And they can live without their iPods and TV for 20 minutes.
• Have fun.  This is not the time to discuss how Johnny failed his math test or why you are worried about the next paycheck.  This is a time to share what good things happened during the day.  Tell them something funny that happened to you - they may just return the favor.
• Make it a habit.  Meals don’t have to be at the exact same time daily.  Look at your family’s schedule and try to find a window of time that you can all eat together.  Supplement with healthful snacks before or after.  As my cousin once told me at a family dinner I had ruined, “Being together is what is important.  Hopefully, we will all live to eat another meal.”

What ways have you found to encourage your family to eat meals together?  Do you have any tips on promoting conversations between family members? Join the discussion over at the BD Forum!

Debbie shares her views on the craziness in life at SuburbSanity.

Now that both the NFL and college seasons are in full swing, chances are you find your husband in his recliner watching his favorite team each weekend.  You may only know football players from reports on E! about who they are dating (aren’t Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson so cute?!).  Here are a few details about the game of football that will keep you interested in more than just seeing if Jason Taylor is as smooth on the field as he was in ballroom dancing!

Here are the basics (for you true football fans, I’m just giving the basics!)

• The Teams- You have twenty-two players on the field, eleven for each team.  The team who has the ball and is trying to score is the offense.  The team defending their end zone is the defense.  There are also special teams players who come out when the ball is kicked (kick off, punt, or extra point attempt).
• The Field- It is one hundred yards long and marked off in ten yard sections.  There is an end zone at each end, with a goal post.
• Playing- Each team has four chances to get ten yards closer to their opponent’s end zone.  These are numbered and called downs.  You will often hear, “First and ten!” That means this is their first chance to go ten more yards.  The lower the second number the better for the offense.  “Second and two” is better than “Second and fifteen.”
• Scoring- A touchdown is worth six points.  After a team gets a touch down, they can kick the extra point (one point) or “go for two” by running or throwing it in.  A field goal is worth three points.  Rarely, a team will tackle their opponent who has possession of the ball in their own end zone.  This is called a safety and is worth two points.
• Penalties- Penalties are assessed on anything from too many players on the field to a player just being in the wrong spot.  It’s hard to keep up with all the rules.  You can enjoy the game without knowing all the details of penalties.

You may never love football or have your own fantasy team, but learning a little about the game may show your husband how much you love him.  And, if nothing else, you could try out new recipes that go great with watching the game, like this one for pumpkin dip I’m going to fix for Monday Night Football next week!

Do you like watching football with your husband?  Any recipes for football food to share?  Check out the forum!

Sandra actually does enjoy watching football with her husband and two young sons.  She blogs with friends over at Today’s Housewife.

When the kids come home from school the first thing I ask them is how their day was. Sometimes I can gauge how the day was simply by the look on their face and sometimes it takes some prying. When I ask it’s not because it’s a knee-jerk reaction or something I feel as a parent I should ask, it’s because I really, really want to know.

Many times we ask kids those questions, not in the hopes of really wanting to know but because we feel we should or it was something our parents asked us. Either way, when you ask out of obligation, you set your kids up for a huge disservice as their advocate in school.

I’ve actively been a participant in my kids’ schools not just a volunteering capacity but in their academics as well and through that time I’ve learned a few things that unfortunately some parents just don’t seem to get;

When it comes to school, no one will care more about what your kid gets out of it than you.

You might argue and say, “But the teacher cares. That is their job; to teach my child.” You’re right it IS their job but it is also to make sure the job is getting done. That doesn’t mean that you are to grade the school or the administration at every little turn but as a parent there are some things you can and should be doing.

•    BE ACTIVE - Check over the papers that come home. If your school has a website where you can see your child’s progress then check it weekly to make sure they are really turning in the homework or to see what projects they might be working on.

•    COMMUNICATE – With your child and the school. Don’t wait for something to go wrong or a problem to arise. Send the teacher an email and introduce yourself if they haven’t already met you. Talk to your child about what they think of the teacher, how they are getting along with classmates and what subjects are getting them down. Ask them about Art and Gym or if they found any good books in the library.

Lastly, and this is a big one so pay attention because many parents don’t do this:

•    DON’T BE AFRAID TO BUCK THE SYSTEM – You heard me. If you think or know something is going on that isn’t right or is a disservice to your child’s education, speak up about it. That is your job; to make sure your child is getting the best education they can get.  I’ve sat through Parent teacher conferences and meetings where I’ve flat out told teachers that their way wasn’t working and it was time to try things MY WAY.

On more than one occasion, I have been known to question a teacher’s decision when it came to what I felt was best for my child. I’m not an advocate against schools; but I am an advocate for my children’s education. I believe we have to do whatever it takes to make sure they get the kind of education they deserve.  Sometimes that means going against popular opinion.

We are a new generation of parents and unlike some of our parents we aren’t and shouldn’t be afraid to question what schools tell us is right for our kids. Teachers and school administrations are made up of humans and humans make mistakes.

How have you become an advocate for your child in the educational system? Visit our forum for a frank discussion!

You can read more from Nichole at The Guilty Parent and Chaos in the Country where she talks about writing, parenting and everything in between.

Like a lot of other couples, my husband and I recently found ourselves in the rut of only talking about the kids, the house or other responsibilities when we had time alone. It wasn’t that we weren’t laughing together or enjoying our conversation (because our kids are pretty darn cute and funny), but we definitely didn’t want all of our conversation to be focused on them. Although it may sound a little pathetic – I mean, this is the same man that I used to spend hours and hours on the phone with when we were dating – we decided we needed a list of other topics we could talk about.

Here’s what we came up with to start.

• My husband is a die-hard Redskins fan, and although my eyes sometimes glaze over when he starts spouting stats and factoids, I do my best to stay interested and informed simply because it’s important to him.

• Likewise, although he has no interest in blogging or social media on his own, he does his best to pay attention to my chatter so that he can ask me questions or make comments about my blogging or other things that excite me.

• One of our favorite things to do is to dream together. Whether those dreams are little, like the type of landscaping we’d do if we money wasn’t an issue, or big, such as where we’d visit, what we’d buy and who we’d give money to if we won the lottery, dreaming big - and together – is a great way for us to connect without the worries of our everyday responsibilities.

• Finally, when we were dating and first married, we would often drive a couple hours to go to our favorite restaurant or a national park, and we would play the question game. At the time, we had a book of conversation starters (that we’ve since lost in one of our many moves), and I’d love to get another one, but you can also Google “conversation starters” or brainstorm to come up with your own list, such as “What was your most embarrassing moment in high school?” or “If you could travel back in time to a specific moment in history, what would it be?”

One day our kids will grow up and leave home, and it’s important to us that we stay connected and enjoy each other’s company now so that when that time comes, we’re not sitting around wondering who this stranger is that we’re married to.

What do you and your husband talk about when your on a date or away from home? Do you make an effort to avoid talking about the kids? Join us over at the Blissfully Domestic forums and share your struggles and conversation ideas!

Mandi is a work-at-home mom to three girls four and under. As if that didn’t keep her busy enough, she also blogs at Doodles’ Place where she shares how she “makes the most of every moment” with her girls and at Transcription Talk, a daily blog for transcriptionists and those looking to break into the industry.

After the last article, you’re probably wondering, “Why all of the questions, Ree?  Seriously - can there possibly be a reason for all of these questions?”

Yes, my friends, these are vastly important questions that must be faced when you first sit down to write a proposal for your boss.

“But a proposal?  Why do I need to be so formal?  Can’t I just go ask?”

Well, yes, you could.  But, my dear, as sorry as I am to tell you this - if you came into my office and said, “I want to work from home instead of coming into the office.” I’d have to say no.

You’d say, “But why?”

And I’d say, “Why do you want to?”

Then we’d have to hash this all out - and I’d wonder what kind of thought you actually gave to your idea.  I may even be a bit peeved that you were wasting my time, because now, I have to take the time to ask you these questions - and you have to think of your answers…

So, before you even sit down to write your proposal, let’s look again at the questions you’ve asked yourself:

1. Am I okay being alone for most of the day - i.e. away from the “water cooler gossip”?
   • Remember that you won’t have “Mary” or “Sue” to break up your day with girlfriend talk.  You won’t know that “Joe” has a crush on “Jill”.  You won’t hear that “Tina” is thinking of leaving the company.

1. Do I have a good support system for child care?
   • If you’re only considering working from home in order to do away with day care fees, you’ll need to be absolutely certain that you can handle your day-to-day activities without missing deadlines or cutting out of meetings because of “Tommy’s” lunchtime.
   • If your children are in school most of the day, this is an easier transition than if you have toddlers who believe that because Mommy is sitting at her desk, she’s free to play! And Look Mommy!  And Mommy, come wipe my bottom!  (Other meeting participants will enjoy listening to “Sarah’s” announcements that she went #2 and needs more toilet paper.)
   • If you do have infants and/or toddlers, you’ll need to consider scheduling meetings during the EARLY morning or evening - when other family members can take over.
   • Obviously, if the work you do is completely independent, and you can set your own hours, this is much less of an obstacle than if you must be available when others are ready.
2. Will I be able to be flexible if something happens and I need to go to the office that day?
   • What if “Mary” calls in sick and someone needs to go run the presentation in the office?  Or what if your internet provider experiences an outage the day you have to send that email?  Can you quickly get to the office to get what you need, or will you need to cancel the presentation/be late with the email?
3. Am I willing to be back “under the microscope” during an initial trial period?
   • Most employers are more willing to allow teleworking under an initial “trial period” - to ensure that they are getting their money’s worth.  Have you considered a “back out” plan in case either you OR your employer decides that it’s not working?
   • Can you handle your boss “checking” to see if you’re working IF you have to be available during certain times of the day?  Once I received a call from an irate client because the employee that requested and received a 6 month work from home trial never answered her phone during business hours.  It went to voicemail every time this client called.
4. What are my long term career goals?
   • Out of sight can mean out of mind.  If you’d like to climb the corporate ladder or be considered for promotions, you’ll need to work a bit harder to be noticed than “Sharon” who is in the office every day talking to the boss.
5. Can I stay focused?
   • This, personally, was the hardest part of working from home to get used to.  I’m now in a 4 ft. by 4 ft. area in a 10 ft. X 10 ft. room - sharing space with the family computer and whoever NEEDS to use it at that moment.  My mind wanders over to what my son is doing on the computer next to me.  “Homework, Mom.  Geez.”
   • I can distract myself for hours dusting.  Or rearranging shelves.  Determining a new way to arrange furniture.  And I can’t possibly get started until everything is neat.  (I didn’t have this problem before, but it’s amazing how much that glass that the 16 year old left on the desk next to me can BUG me until I take the time to pick it up, take it down to the kitchen, rinse it out, come back upstairs to the office, notice the water stain and the can I missed, wipe up the water stain, take the can down to the recycling….  You get the idea?)

If, after answering these questions, you still feel like you’re the perfect candidate for working remotely, stay tuned!  In Part 3, we’ll discuss actually WRITING that proposal.

What is your proposal for working at home? Tell us over in our busy forum!

Ree can be found blogging at “My Life as a Hotfessional”.  If you’d like to hear about the rest of the craziness in my life, stop by anytime!  I’m always “at home”.