By Ali Hooper | Leave A Comment
Here in the suburbs, failing to put your four-year-old child in preschool is right on par with locking her in the car on a 100-degree day and going shopping.
At least that’s what I’ve deduced from the wide-eyed stares, the raised eyebrows, and the stunned “Oh!”s I’ve gotten after telling people that Punky still stays home with me.
Oh, the guilt I’ve suffered over denying Punky the privilege of attending Dee’s Kuntry Kinder Kare or Little Hands for Jesus Academy with the other kids. While they’ve been learning the Spanish word for “carrot” and making Baby-Moses-in-a-Baskets out of Play-Doh, Punky has been right here under my nose, playing Kingdom of Hearts on our Playstation or collecting rocks on the neighborhood playground, or thumbing through an endless array of library books (which I check out each week for entirely selfish reasons: I can’t stand to read the same book over and over and over again).
Oh, for a while I tried the preschool thing here at home with another mom friend. Then Bruiser started crawling and class came to a screeching halt. Activities were all but impossible with a screaming little imp underfoot. This summer, I fearfully consulted a few resources on preschool standards, terrified that I had dropped the ball on Punky’s pre-education and was setting her up for kindergarten failure. I wasn’t. Preschool standards are ridiculously easy—count to ten, recognize shapes, know your alphabet. She met them all, and then some.
But still. The stares. The open mouths. The guilt.
Post by Suburban Turmoil at Divine Caroline.
Photo by renee @ FIMBY’s Photostream
ABOUT Ali Hooper
Once a School Counselor, now the Editor of Homeschool Bliss, Ali now whittles away the time blogging{read more}
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Having homeschooled my oldest until 7th grade, having taught preschool and elementary school and can assure you that your child will be learning much more than can possibly be taught in a preschool setting.
Your child will have better social skills because she will be learning from groups with a high concentration of adults rather than from a bunch of 4 year olds. Her vocabulary will be much higher than most of her peers because you read so many stories to her. She will stay healthier because she won’t be as exposed to all the germs floating around in the classroom setting. You will be amazed at how much you and your child will learn.
I love reading all of your articles. Thank you so much for sharing.
I too have a 4 year old, almost 5 and have kept him home. He can count to 50, knows his ABC’s, is starting to spell, among other things. I get that look from people as well, you know the one where the look down at you. I just brush it off.
My decision to keep him home is due to his Severe Eczema, Asthma, and food allergies. He has suffered enough, and I hate to have him go to school to be teased for something that has already cause so many issues in his 5 years. Let alone someone making the mistake of giving him something to eat that could kill him. I am still debating if he will go to kindergarden in the fall, or continue to home school.
Wait a minute. My daughter is three and a half, and knows all her shapes, can sing the ABC song, can write half of her letters, recognizes a few words, and can count to ten (and write the numbers down.)
And she’s ready for kingergarten? Sweet.
Aww, I know the look VERY well!
There once was a time that mothers longed to be able to stay home with their children, now they all scramble to send them off even if they are able to stay home, and then act as if we are committing a crime of sorts. Well you know what? I feel privileged to be in a situation that allows me to be home with my children and *gasp* teach them myself! That’s not to say that we don’t struggle and sacrifice for me to be able to do so, and thank God I am now bringing in an income with my photography BUT I’m so sick of people telling me how backwards my 6 year old is going to be, all the while she’s chatting up the other children and their parents at dance class and girl scouts lol. And guess what? I home schooled her for kindergarten and now we’re doing first grade AND she’s tested the highest in her first quarter. No, I’m not trying to brag, just reassuring everyone that I’m not doing my daughter a huge disservice. the only people having a problem with it is everyone else. I’ll have to send her off in the world soon enough, why not let me enjoy her childhood with her if I am blessed enough to do so?
Oh my gosh, lol! This was the first thing I read this morning and it really hit home. /Vent over.
Before I even start here let me say this: I’ve been a homeschooler and a public school teacher. I have 4 kids; one with special needs. I totally get it if your child needs homeschooling for special needs, food allergies or any other unusual circumstance. Any comment I make here has nothing to do with those situations.
But really the stigma of homeschooling???? Are you kidding me? Try being a public schooler in the midst of home schoolers. You are practically burned at the stake for thinking of sending your child into the real world.
One thing I really don’t understand about the homeschool mentality is this: Do the parents really think that they’re the only people who have anything of value to offer their kids?? Socializing is critical and spending time with “high concentrations of adults” is not the same thing as socializing with peers-and that is a critical skill needed for survival in the real world.
AND…
“She will stay healthier because she won’t be as exposed to all the germs floating around in the classroom setting.” This statement clearly comes from someone who does not understand how the immune system works.
On the other hand what about ‘variety is the spice of life’?? You think parents need a break form their kids?? Well, the same is true of the kids…sometimes they need a break from their parents.
Here’s the bottom line: EVERYONE I know that was home-schooled for any length of time is (I hate to say it) weird. The weirdness stems directly out of a lack of social skills and a sense of being better than everyone else.
I get that every parent needs to make a best choice for their kids and their family but how about we agree that there are arguments on BOTH sides.
This must be my day to be a contrarian, but I think preschool is highly overrated. I’ve read that there’s no correlation between early reading and later academic success, so why push kids into school so soon? They’re little such a short time! I think it’s better to enjoy those precious bonding years and let ‘em have that wonderful unstructured time while they can.
Sorry for the stares, but yeah. Home schooling deprives children of much social skill that is needed to participate (let alone succeed) in the world today. With my combined education – home schooled, them schooled, then home schooled – I struggled and I regret it.
My now 7th grader went to traditional schools up until a couple of months ago. We tried public schools and private schools and art based schools. He’s always been extremely bright – in the advanced, honors and GATE programs. However when he got to 6th grade and moved onto Middle School having a social life became so much more important than grades. I’ve never been one to think my child was an angel and although he always got wonderful grades, he also brought home a lot of ‘S’ and ‘U’ for his behavior in class. He’s a talker, his mind wanders, he gets bored easily. After coming home with 2 F’s and 2 D’s at the end of 6th grade and being told summer school and after school programs were in his future I gave him one last chance to pick up his grades or he would be home schooled. No dice. Still the same grades. So in keeping true to my word I pulled him out and have home schooled him ever since. Although I don’t enjoy having to keep on top of him to work and not get distracted or think he’s on hiatus, his grades are back up.
It is extremely important to make sure they are doing extra curricular activities, getting some exercise and playing with friends. Just this weekend alone he has walked dogs with one friend, gone surfing with a couple of others and he had a sleepover a few days ago with yet another friend.
I have 2 year old twins and I do plan on sending them to pre-school.
So in all of my rambling, what I’m trying to get out is that you just have to do what works for your family and what you think will benefit your kids. Ignore the stares and the comments.
I know she’ll do great! If you think stigma today is bad, you should have been around when my parents started homeschooling us in the early 80s. We experienced downright ostracism. Not fun. But my parent’s persevered, and I’m definitely better for it.
As someone who was homeschooled all the way through high school, I have also been on the receiving end of the Homeschool Stigma. When I went to college and lived at the dorm, so many of my floor mates were shocked that I had been homeschooled. Mostly just because I was “normal” (i.e. I knew how to hold a conversation and goof around like anyone else). If you know that homeschooling is best for your child STICK TO IT!! Being homeschooled was a huge blessing for me (and my mom had no teacher-training, she never even graduated college and was horribly dis-organized). Even when I fought being homeschooled, I look back and know my parents made the right choice. Don’t let other people’s ignorance discourage you, you give your child so many wonderful tools and opportunities that just aren’t available in 99% of public or private schools.
Ok, sorry for a double post, but as someone who was homeschooled and never went to a “real” school until college I just have to rebut when people are saying about socialization. There is that risk of having kids who 1) think they’re smarter than everyone in public school and 2) not having enough socialization to be able to handle themselves in regular social situations. But those issues are easily dealt with (especially in my home state of AZ, it’s alot harder in places like CA).
My mom and other homeschool moms created a girls club where we got to hang out with other girls our age for 4 years, it was awesome. On top of that we had field trips with other kids and park days to just run around and play. I had volleyball in the fall and swim team in the summer through the city Swim Program, I took a debate class and drama all through high school. We had proms and all kinds of opportunities to hang out with kids our age.
Homeschooling put me ahead of most of my peers in more ways than scolastically, because I was used to spending time with every age group (from babysitting newborns to bible study with 60 year-olds) I was able to easily adapt to almost any social situation as well as relate to my own age group. I now am a college graduate and working as a part of an international corporation, I still get compliments on my writing because it’s better than 60% of my fellow employees.
Now I’m not saying any of this to say I’m better than others, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. I’m just saying there is living proof that being homeschooled will not always mean that you have no idea how to socialize and that you’ll be stuck up. Just like public school, there are pros and cons to each situation and every parent need to decide what is right for each individual child. For some, public/private school is the best option, for others, homeschooling is best. I agree that there are two sides, but don’t assume that all homeschoolers are weird.