We last discussed why frequent discussions about our feelings do not help our marriages, despite what the self-help books say. We focus on the goal of having lengthy emotional conversations, but this is not want we truly need. We need something far more important.

We need to feel connected to our husbands. Over 80% of divorced couples say that they just grew apart. They lost their connection. Poor communication is a direct result from feeling disconnected from your spouse, not the other way around. All the “relationship exercise chit-chats” that women force their husbands into can not force a connection to be regained.

Remember, when women feel disconnected, we need reassurance. We want to ease that anxiety and talking about our emotions is just what we naturally are inclined to do.

When women begin to discuss the “state of our marriage” it often becomes a laundry list of ways to improve. Men often respond by pulling away even more. This is because it triggers his feeling that he has failed his wife in one way or another. Sadly, this cycle plays out in millions of homes on a daily basis.

Tomorrow we will learn ways to help regain, or simply to strengthen, our connection with our husbands. It can all be done without interrupting his game and starting a fight. I promise!

Blessings, Allison

Extraordinary Wives- we will continue today’s discussion at the league!

(Photo from Stock Xchange)