Has your husband become passive over the years? It is all too common for men to essentially throw their hands up and let wives make every decision in the family. Now stop laughing, Ladies, it’s not all wonderful to make all the choices. Sometimes we want our men to have an opinion and make a decision, right?

Men commonly become passive in marriage when their ideas or attempts at leadership are repeatedly struck down or belittled by their wives. You may be thinking, “Who me?” Yes, you. It happens, we all do it, and I am not here to judge. I only want to discuss this common marital behavioral pattern. Remember when we discussed how pop-culture demeans the image of family men?

Men thrive on the feeling of success. They need it like air, water, sports and pizza. When we frequently say no to his suggestions he will stop making them. If he feels his attempts are not successful he will stop trying. It is really just that simple.

Try to say yes more often. Even to the crazy silly ideas. You know, the ones that make you want to laugh at him. But please do not laugh at him! If it isn’t really a big deal, just say yes. I try to keep the yes/no ratio around 10:1. Obviously, this will depend on your husband. If he is a big dreamer who plans on painting the house in a camo pattern or moving the family to New Zealand to be sheep herders, then your yes/no ratio will be much lower!

It is important to keep in mind that the more often you say yes to him, that when you do say no he will be way more likely to yield to your wishes. So save putting your foot down for the big issues: skydiving with the toddlers, joining a motorcycle gang, matching tattoos with your teen, moving to the Artic Circle. Let him feel successful and let him make some decisions. You just may discover you enjoy giving some of the family stress and decision making to him.

Let’s continue at the League!