Even though they are centuries old, knights are a part of our culture.  Volumes of books are written about them.  Little boys imagine being one and little girls dream of being rescued by one.  New brides often speak of finally finding their knight in shining armor.

What happens when that armor gets rusted or damaged?

Every marriage experiences its share of troubles.  For women, this can be especially difficult.  It’s hard to accept that our knight in shining armor is just a man.  It doesn’t fit into the accepted image of knighthood.

Accept His Faults

No one is perfect.  But for some reason we expect husbands to be.  So when he burps at inappropriate times or leaves his clothes on the floor, we get upset.  We can’t accept that he might be any less than our idealized version of him.

Living with a person 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, we see that entire person, the good and the bad.  As wives, we need to love our husband for who God created him to be.   Marriage is about learning to accept your entire spouse, not just the shining armor.

Forgive and Forget

People hurt people.  It happens anytime two people are in a relationship.  Our knights aren’t immune to this.  They say things that hurt.  They forget anniversaries and birthdays.  They make commitments without checking schedules.

We have to be willing to forgive, even if they don’t ask for forgiveness.  Forgiveness isn’t about making them feel better.  But it does help us feel better.  Then we have to be willing to forget and move forward.  It’s the only way to help restore that shining armor.

Remember the Commitment

Underneath that shining armor, husbands are really just men who have the same temptations and struggles as other people.  People make bad business decisions.  People become addicted to drugs, alcohol and/or pornography.  People have affairs.  Unfortunately these things happen.

It’s hard to overlook those deep hurts.  It’s hard to love in the midst of the pain.  It’s hard to forgive.  But we can’t give up on our knights.

Vows are made before families and God.  Remember that marriage is about that commitment and not the current circumstances.  It’s not easy.  But marriage isn’t easy.  It takes hard work and determination.  It involves looking past the damaged armor and seeing the man inside.

Believe in Restoration

Don’t give up on your marriage.  It is possible to revive those old feelings of love and trust.  But we have to be willing to try.  We have to be willing to put aside our hurt feelings and respond with kindness and compassion instead of irritation and annoyance.

We also need to believe in our husbands despite the dents in his armor.  Renewed commitment can buff out the dents.   Forgiveness can make it shine again.  And love can help us accept the man inside the armor.