By Alicia | Leave A Comment
It’s inevitable. Anytime two people are in a relationship, there will be disagreements. Unfortunately the marriage relationship is not exempt. Because it plays such an important role in our lives, the disagreements can be even more heated. Even though we don’t like to admit it, we can be wrong. In order to maintain marital bliss, it’s important to learn the art of saying “I’m sorry”.
Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right
Don’t dwell on the mistakes of your spouse. This can cause you to downplay your own wrong doing. Yes, he may have wronged you. Yes, it probably hurt. But that does not excuse you from doing the right thing and apologizing. Your apology might be the catalyst for his apology. Or it might not. Either way, you’ll feel better for doing the right thing.
Don’t Wait to Apologize
The longer you wait to apologize, the harder it becomes. You will create more excuses for your behavior. Those excuses will turn into walls between you and your spouse that will be harder to tear down as time passes. Don’t let this happen. Apologize as soon as you realize you are in the wrong.
Be Specific When you Apologize
It’s easy to say, “I’m sorry I hurt you”. This puts the blame on the other person. It’s their fault that they were hurt, not your fault for doing wrong. Instead say “I’m sorry I said (fill in the blank)” or “I’m sorry for making plans without you” or “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you”. Be specific. Then you both know what the infraction was and why you are apologizing. This eliminates ambiguity and builds respect within a marriage.
Say Sorry From the Heart
You can say all the right words, but it won’t mean anything if you are not sincere. So make sure your apology is from the heart. If you can’t be sincere, spend some time examining yourself. Is there a reason? Do you need to forgive your spouse? Again, your spouse may not be in the right, but neither are you if you are holding a grudge. It’s time to really forgive him and then ask for his forgiveness.
Forgiveness in marriage is essential. But it can’t happen if someone isn’t willing to budge. We need to honestly look at the disagreements in our marriages and acknowledge when we are wrong. By learning the art of saying “I’m sorry”, we can ease those inevitable disagreements and return to marital bliss much faster.
photo credit: clairity
ABOUT Alicia
Being a happily married wife, a busy homeschool mom, a part-time accountant, and an occasional write{read more}
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This is an excellent article for couples. Not only do you explain the need for apologizing, but the proper way to do it. Thank you.
Alicia, you are so right..forgiveness in marriage is a must! Thanks for writing on this topic. It is good practical wisdom.
Great post. I find myself in the, “I’m sorry you took it that way,” camp too often…my poor husband! Thankfully, he’s merciful and I am getting smarter–and more humble–through the years. We can’t work on this often enough; I don’t think it comes naturally to many individuals but it’s so key for real communication and understanding between couples.
When I find myself not wanting to say sorry, I first have to examine my heart and my need to repent over my wrong actions and selfish motives. Great article!
This is wonderful…Sometimes it take reading things like to to spark up what you already knew and need to be remind… Thanks so much.
Why is it so hard to say sometimes. There’s always this great feeling afterwards. This one is a re-read for me. Thank You.
I need to print and bind some of these awesome posts.