Ahhh…the gift giving season. Many of us spend much of December (and those of us who are more organized, much of the year) searching for the perfect gift for our dad, our mother-in-law, and dear Aunt Gertrude.

During my first marriage, at a certain point it became my responsibility to buy gifts for my ex-husband’s family. Most of the marriages I’ve observed operate this way. The woman is responsible for buying all of the gifts except her own. I believe it happens in much the same way other things become our responsibility: men complete the task in a manner we deem substandard so we take the “Oh, just let me do it” attitude. And then many of us spend years resenting that the entire gift giving responsibility falls to us.

I was pleasantly surprised when my current husband actually rebuffed my attempts at assuming what I thought was my pre-determined role. The first year we were married, I told my husband that I was thinking of picking up “X” for his mom for Christmas from us. He told me that I was welcome to buy her the item but that he would continue to shop for all of his family members. I was skeptical but years later he continues to do the bulk of the shopping for his family. I make suggestions. I pick up small items that I know his sister or mom would like as they have become my family too. He says he enjoys finding the right gift for each person so I’ve gladly let him continue shopping.

How do you and your spouse negotiate who shops for whom? Are you happy with the arrangement you have? Is it something you’ve discussed or did it just turn out that way?

You can read more by Michelle by visiting her blog, Michelle Smiles!

Photo by: zurizim