By Heather @ Not a DIY Life | Leave A Comment
Compromise can seem like a dirty word at times. However, compromise is vital to a healthy and happy marriage. How do your skills of negotiation and compromise stack up?
My Hubby and I recently began a de-cluttering project. Any time we embark on the quest to have less “stuff,” I get seriously stressed out. Why? Because I am a pack rat and Hubby is not. He wants to get rid of everything and anything that we are not using or have not used recently. The most oft repeated phrase from my lips is, “But we might need that!”
During de-cluttering, our communication and negotiation skills are put to the test. Simply put, we need to learn to compromise! Realistically, we cannot keep all of the “stuff” that we have. But we don’t need to throw everything away either.
Enter compromise. It’s difficult, I have to admit. I do not want to get rid of stuff just because we haven’t used it in a while. Some things have sentimental value that my Hubby just doesn’t “get.”
We have learned, however, to communicate very honestly with each other. I explain why I think we should keep something; Hubby reminds me of the last time we used it. Then we come to a mutual decision. I don’t always have to give in. And Hubby doesn’t always get his way either.
Compromise in marriage should be a WIN-WIN situation. You want to avoid WIN-LOSE and LOSE-LOSE scenarios. These lead to hurt feelings and resentment.
Open, honest communication is key in reaching an acceptable compromise. Whether it’s de-cluttering, traveling, or child-rearing, share with each other your feelings and rationale behind your stance.
Because life is not a Do-It-Yourself project, Heather shares her journey of faith and parenting at Not a DIY Life.
Have you learned the art of compromise in your marriage? What helps you to feel that compromise is a WIN-WIN situation rather than a WIN-LOSE or a LOSE-LOSE situation? Share your experiences with us at The League of Extraordinary Wives!
Not a member of The League of Extraordinary Wives? E-mail us at wedblissfully@gmail.com for an invitation.
Photo Credit: Stock.xchng by szajmon
ABOUT Heather @ Not a DIY Life
Life is not a Do-It-Yourself project. I share my journey of faith, healthy living and parenting, ho{read more}
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This is definitely something I have learned to respect the longer I am married. But, that darn pride gets in the way.
I’m a thinker. I like to think through the whole conversation several times before we talk about something after our initial discussion. It may take me a couple weeks, and J may not even know I’m still thinking about it, but I often am. Many times I need that long to think it through from my point of view then from his. When we talk about something after I’ve had quite some time to mull it over, I find our compromise is far more win-win vs. win(me)-lose(him) as it can tend to be if I don’t take the time to reconsider my position.
This sounds like my hubby and me. He always says that he would love for me to go away for a week… I would never know what was missing. LOL
T
I have such anxiety when my husband enters one of his “throw it all away” modes. I am always positive something important will get tossed and he is positive I won’t miss it.