The term “long distance relationship” tends to garner smirks or grimaces, as many don’t see them as legitimate relationships. However, with the job market what it is today, even many married couples find themselves living in a long distance relationship. Military wives and girlfriends live it every day. Women (and men!) married to a partner whose job takes them on the road for long periods of time also find themselves living it.

According to Long Distance Relationships.com, approximately 7 million couples in the United States consider themselves long distance, including almost 3 million marriages and and up to 4.5 million dating couples.

I, myself, am here to tell you they CAN work. My own marriage is the product of a long distance relationship. My husband and I found ways to make our long distance relationship work, and due to his job we still rely on some of the tips and tricks we used through our dating years.

Those tips include:

1. Trust. Lack of trust can spell the end of any relationship, but this fact is multiplied when the relationship is long distance. You have to fully trust your partner when you are separated by time and miles. If you cant do that, you might as well hang it up right now.
2. Call and/or write often. When you can’t see each other any time you want to, you have to rely on telephone, email or even “snail mail” to keep the spark alive. I actually credit our being long distance for years for our having the communication skills we have today. Your time “together” isn’t distracted with “other things.” You HAVE to communicate to have that intimate relationship. We would talk on the phone twice a day, or we’d have marathon chat sessions via AIM. Some nights we’d have a “movie date” via phone, watching a the same cheesy made-for-TV movie on each end of the line. His job has taken him over seas a few times, at which time email has been a relationship saver.
3. Socializing is encouraged. You can’t stay home alone all the time lest you go stir crazy. Do not feel guilty for going out and having fun without your partner. You need that time for yourself; socializing is good for you emotionally and mentally. Plus, it gives you something to talk about with your partner when you talk next. Just remember, you can’t go home with that cute guy (or gal) at the end of the bar!
4. Have someone to talk to locally. For me, when my husband and I were long distance dating, my parents and my best girlfriend kept me sane. Sometimes you need to talk about how you feel about your relationship. Sometimes you need that literal shoulder to lean on for awhile. Sometimes you just need a hug. You absolutely must have a support system to get you through the time apart. It doesn’t make your  need for your partner any less, it just helps you handle the loneliness.
5. Plan trips. To me, this was always a perk of our long distance relationship. If gives you an amazing excuse to travel! While my husband and I were dating, especially after we were engaged, we tried to see each other once a month, never going over two months. I got good at flying in those days. Those one or two days together, sometimes it was only a few hours, reminded us how much our relationship meant to us. They were “food for the heart and soul.”
6. Believe in yourself and your relationship. This probably should be #1 on this list. If you don’t believe in it, it’ll never survive. Believe in your relationship. Believe in yourself. Believe in your partner. And your relationship CAN and WILL flourish.