#2 – Be careful what you say to or about your husband in front of others.

I am a really social person. I best process what’s going on in my life by talking with close friends and getting their feedback. Early in our marriage, my husband and I had a really difficult couple of months. Looking back, I can see that it was an exaggerated version of the typical “first year” marriage hardships. At the time, it was deeply painful and quite scary. I confided in several of my friends, and shared every detail with them. The problem was, once my husband and I had worked through that time and our wounds were healed, my friends still held on to the harsh words I had used about my husband. They had a difficult time healing and moving on, and seeing my husband in a positive light.

Those who are close to us, especially those who are more on “our side” want to protect and defend us. They’re not in love with our husbands like we are, and it’s not so easy for them to forgive and forget.

Another way I’ve seen many women dishonor their husbands is in the way they speak to them around others. At a couple’s poker party a few weeks ago, we all watched in a bit of horror as one wife repeatedly criticized her husband, made rude sarcastic comments about him and kept a tight verbal leash on him the entire night. The husband was clearly humiliated and quite emasculated. Once the couple left the party, we talked about what we had seen. Not only did we feel she was cruel in her actions, but we questioned why he allowed it. Her behavior that night drastically effected how we viewed both of them. I would never want my husband to refer to me as his “ball and chain.” Likewise, I try to make an effort to speak highly of my husband to our friends, and keep the delicate details of our marriage between God and us.

Ephesians 4:29 says it perfectly. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

This week, let’s be intentional about showering our husbands with words filled with grace, gratitude and love. Tell people wonderful things about your husband, whether he’s there to hear it or not. What a wonderful way for us to edify and build up our men!

Let’s take it to the League! What do/should you do to be sure you’ve got control of your tongue, and that you mouth is full of grace? Come share your ideas for building up your husband with your words!

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Photo Credits: Esparta, Matthew J.