“I just want my child to be happy.” We’ve all said it at some point. But what exactly does that mean? And how do we help our children create purposeful moments of happiness?

It’s really important to first identify what happiness is certainly NOT. Happiness is not about always getting your own way. Happiness is not about “stuff.” It can’t be bought or borrowed. But it CAN be taught. Here are a few important steps we can take toward helping our children create their own happiness.

Cultivate self-confidence.

It’s been said that it takes 4 positive statements to counteract just 1 negative statement. So be purposeful in your praise. And be specific. Don’t just tell your child you liked the way he handled a difficult situation. Tell him why you like his choice.

Model positive self-talk. When children hear parents criticizing themselves, that’s what they learn. Conversely, however, children who hear parents reassuring themselves learn the importance of being their own cheerleaders.

Teach children to find the joys in everyday life.

With all the flashiness of modern media, it’s easy to miss the beautiful little joys all around us in nature. Help your children learn to take time for appreciating a colorful sunset, a vivid rainbow, or the concentric ripples a smooth stone can create in a pond.

Let your child see you being genuinely happy about the little things. Show excitement about getting a letter from a friend, singing along with a favorite song on the radio, or finding a beautiful sea shell on the beach.

Encourage gratitude.

Learning to be thankful for blessings is a huge step toward genuine happiness. Practice gratitude as a family to show your children the value you place on celebrating thankfulness. Help your child keep a gratitude journal (which will also reinforce literacy skills).

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” ~Frederick Koenig

The MOST important factor in raising happy children is being happy parents. No, this doesn’t mean being disingenuous. It means exhibiting the positive traits you want your children to pick up. It means being clear about what is of value to your family. It means being grateful for the hundreds of little things that can put a smile on your face every day.

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