According to the Victorian Perinatal Data Collection Unit (Australia),  in 2003/2004  6.1% of singletons were born prematurely (before 37 weeks) compared with 51.6% of twins and 100% of triplets.

If you are having a multiple birth, the likelihood of your babies being born early is pretty high. For a lot of babies this might mean only a short stay in the hospital, but for some babies it means a longer and more difficult journey in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).  Regardless of how early your babies are born and how much medical support they might need, it is a stressful time for all.

Our girls were born at 29 weeks gestation due to TTTS. They spent six weeks in NICU and four weeks in special care. It was a bumpy ride and in so many ways we were extremely lucky at how well they did, but it was stressful… so very stressful.  Here are a few ideas that helped me cope with having two babies in hospital.

• Find out as much information as you can before hand.

If you know you are at high risk of a pre-term delivery arrange to take a tour of the NICU and try to  meet and talk to the doctors and nurses. Ask for information about what to expect from babies born at different gestational ages.

• Explain what is happening to family and friends.

If you have very premature or very sick babies, family and friends may be uncertain and not know how to react at first.  Speak up and tell them how they can celebrate your babies’ birth and how they can help you during this difficult time.

• Find someone who has been there to talk to as well as a friend to do ‘normal’ things with.

Meeting and talking with someone who really knows what it is like, especially someone who has made it through, will give you hope is the best resource you can have. At the same time, having a friend to take you to lunch and just chat and help you wind down is also a special thing.

• Get a great breast pump.

Expressing breast milk for two or more babies is not an easy task, but it is one of the most worthwhile things you can do for your premature babies. Get a good hospital-grade breast pump and seek out support and information about the best way to express.

• Take care of yourself.

The emotional stress of having babies in hospital is draining. Add to that, running in and out of the hospital several times a day, meetings with doctors, pumping every three hours and still trying to function with normal day to day tasks (perhaps even looking after other children). You need to take care of yourself, to eat well and rest, to take time out every once in a while.

• Know that is is OK to be sad, disappointed or even depressed.

Sometimes you might get so busy coping that you forget to take the time to grieve. To be sad for the loss of your wonderful happy birth, to be disappointed that things didn’t go according to plan, to be devastated that your babies are not healthy and home in your arms. These feelings and a million more are all normal…. find someone to talk to if you need to.

(photo – Zoe, 4 weeks old in NICU with nasal prong oxygen and an NG tube)