Castle and Fortress

As parents to special needs kids, one obstacle we face can be other people’s perceptions.

We recently attended the updated IEP meeting for my son. I feel that a major portion of his struggles is social.  I suggested homeschooling to take the major stresses out of his life, so we can gradually add sociability a little bit at a time while not effecting his academic progress. The school’s reaction was comical.  Every person around the table literally gasped. “You must take that off the table, right now!”

My response?  “I’m not about to take something off the table that might help my son.”

People, please.

I don’t know exactly where their responses came from, but I can guess.  I’d be willing to bet some stemmed from their bias that I couldn’t possibly know what I’m talking about.  After all I’m not a trained “professional.”  YOU don’t have to live with our problems 24/7.  When you bear the physical and emotional scars, you can judge my competence.  This kid’s alive, clean, fed, sheltered, and getting the best care that I found for him.  You didn’t do the research.  I did.  Also?  Money.   They wouldn’t get their allotment of his state funding.

You see, my job isn’t to make them happy, going with the bureaucratic flow, provide their state funding, or become a sycophant to their illustrious education.  My job is to love, nurture, protect, guide, and care for my son.  They’re paid.  I’m not.

When the question comes down to love or money – who do you think is going to win?  Love is a concrete wall.  You’re not getting through it to my son unless I allow you to.

Sometime, when the patronizing attitudes of those who are paid to help your child come to the forefront, remember that.  You are a wall.  You are a fortress.  It does wonders for the psyche. You are strong.  You can do it.  You will do it.

And if you need to, come to me.  I’ll give you a kick in the pants.

Note:  I hold the medical and educational community in very high regard.  Please don’t take this article as condemnation of them.  However, they are human.  Parents deserve a great deal of respect for what they do and how they got there.

Photo by Athena’s Pix