By themeanestmom | Leave A Comment
Like most mothers of multiples, I get approached by lots of curious people when I’m out on the town. Most people just want to state the obvious—“Oh! You have twins!”—but a growing minority also want the answer to a strange question:
“Are your twins real?”
After checking my sons’ vital signs and poking them with sticks, I put forward my best guess.
“I don’t know for sure,” I say, “But it appears that they are.”
Although I pretend to play stupid, I know exactly what people want to know when they ask me this question: were my twins conceived “naturally” or through fertility treatments? Besides being none of their business, this question implies that babies produced in test tubes and Petri dishes are somehow less human or authentic than children produced without reproductive assistance.
My four children came into my family through dramatically different avenues: one through adoption, two through in-vitro fertilization, and one “the old-fashioned way.” Though their paths to my home may be unconventional, I assure you that all of my children are REAL.
Jana Mathews is the mother of 4 and the author of The Meanest Mom blog. She does at least 5 loads of laundry each day.
(photo by Ava Lowery)
ABOUT themeanestmom
Jana is the mother of three children born in the same calendar year (twins + singleton born 8 months{read more}
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I haven’t gotten this question about my twins very often. But I don’t mind if people ask. It’s like when people want to touch your pregnant belly. Twins and pregnancy are kind of fascinating and I think people are just really curious.
Not that people don’t annoy me. That’s why I work with animals.
hehe I loved this and all I have to say is Amen Sister! As the mother to 4 adoptive children which includes a set of spontaneous faternal adopted triplets. This question plus a few more always make me just stop and give them the “are you serious?” look. LOL Here are a few other comments we have received while out and about. Enjoy!
“Are those triplets?”
“Are they all boys?” (mind you I use a gray & blue double stroller and a single bright pink single stroller!) lol
“How come your daughter looks nothing like you?” (umm hello my mother had me the old fashion way and I still look nothing like her. umm hello sometimes that happens even without adoption. LOL Oh and my oldest is Spanish, adopted from Bolivia; so yes she looks nothing like me. LOL)
“Are they ALL yours?”
“Boy! You have your hands full!”
“OMG – It’s triplets! LOOK!!!”
“Can I take their picture?”
“Were they all born on the same day?”
“Are they all the same age?”
“How old are your children?” I answer “13, 3, 3, & 3″ To which they reply “OMG Those are triplets!” (like they just now realized that the 3 little people that are the same height in matching clothes are even related. LOL)
I’m sure there have been many more but I can’t remember them all. That is just a few of the common ones. LOL
Karen @ Lil Momma’s Haven
I get some of that same kind of busybody questioning about my own adoption! I consider being adopted no different from being born to my parents. My parents did a great job raising me, so I don’t have any issues with it.
On a lighter note, my husband is one of six boys. There are an older set of three and a younger set of three. In the older set, there are twins. But the oldest looks quite a lot like the twins. Many times when they are out together, people ask, “Are you three twins?”
My older two are adopted. People ask if they are twins and I don’t lie. No they’re three days apart. I get funny looks sometimes. It would be easier to call them twins, maybe they’ll want to do that to avoid looks and questions when they are older, but I’ll let them decide.
How disgusting. I have never been asked if mine were “real”. I’m sick of the “hands are full” jazz but I would not hold back in my response to why the ell it doesn’t matter … followed up with my 30 minute lesson on twin to twin transfusion syndrome. I will make them think twice about uttering such stupidity.
hmm, I guess I didn’t like that question.
Ah the lovely comments… I get asked ‘are they natural’ a lot.. every now and then I reply ‘well they used to be, but we had them coated in plastic so they are easier to keep clean’… you should see the confused looks I get as I walk away!
I’ve never gotten that comment yet, but if I should, I already have a response–
“Nope, they’re plastic. Got them on sale “Buy One, Get One Free” at Walmart.”
That sort of comment is kind of along the same lines as “Don’t you know what causes that??” (DH and I have five dc so far)….intrusive and one of those “Here’s your sign!” moments that make you wonder if the person is really stupid, or just rude….
Rachel