Looking for answers to all your burning step family questions? Then look no further – the Blended Diva is here for YOU! This week’s question is a tricky one and can easily get those emotions flaring!

I have three stepchildren, but my oldest stepson is 13 and when he’s at our home, we give him a key so that he can get in the house after school. After his last visit, we forgot to get the key. Apparently during the week, he realized he forgot something at our house – because when we came home, we found a note – in his mother’s handwriting – saying they had stopped by to look for his things! The thought of my husband’s ex in my house when I’m not home makes me very uncomfortable. Do we say something to her? Do we take our house key from the kids?

Wow! This Diva thinks that was pretty bold of the mother to do and crossed a lot of no-no lines.  While I appreciate her thoughtfulness to bring her son to retrieve his forgotten items, she should have waited outside.  I feel it is never ok to go through someone else’s house without their knowledge or approval. Here is how we handle this situation in our house.

The child (or parent) calls and lets the other family know ‘said item’ was left at the house. A mutually agreed upon time to pick it up is then discussed. If a time can’t be agreed upon then we typically leave the item in a bag between the doors or next to the garage. My step-daughters do not have keys but do know our garage code. We always try to make sure the door to the house from the garage is locked to avoid any questionable issues.

As for bringing it up to the mother, my answer is YES! There is no reason for her to be in your house while you are not at home. I can’t imagine that she would be open to you snooping through her drawers either. I also don’t feel the son should be punished for his mother’s misdoings, but I would also discuss your feelings about the incident with him.

What strategies do you use in your house to deal with forgotten items?

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