A few weeks ago, I started hearing some buzz about a book called “Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do”.  So intrigued was I by this book, written by Wednesday Martin, Ph.D., that I wrote to the publisher and requested a copy to review. They graciously complied. The book arrived and I got started reading.

This book is NOT like any other book about stepparenting or being a stepmother that I have already read. This is a good thing. Most other books geared towards stepmothers have left me feeling bitter, like a failure, and like any of the hurdles that my family was running into were unique – that MOST people were able to blend just fine so what on earth was my problem?

Truth is? Stepfamily life isn’t easy for most people. The book, which uses anecdotes from stepmothers interspersed with research on stepfamily life, left me nodding my head in agreement quite a bit. To read that it’s harder for a woman to be a stepparent than a man (an opinion I have held for years) and see it backed up with data proving that fact? Much needed validation for THIS stepmother, indeed.

I walked away with a lot of very handy information – and a lot of information I plan to share with my husband. In fact, Chapter Five, titled “Him: Understanding Your Husband” gave a lot of truly useful insight about what might be going through my husband’s mind in relation to his son and our family – and how at times, he truly must feel conflicted or torn between putting his child first and putting our relationship first.

An excellent takeaway from the book is that you and your husband are the foundation the family is built upon – so you need to take the time (even in a chaotic situation!) for yourselves and nurture the relationship.  A regular date night, for example, will allow you and your husband to take time out for your relationship — which in turn shows your children, stepchildren and biological children alike, that you are a team.

From the anecdotes that rung so true to me, to the statistical data that backed up so much of how I was feeling – this book spoke to me. It really reached the core of what the stepmother experience is like for a lot of women. This is the first book about stepparenting I haven’t wanted to throw out the window in frustration. You can order Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do from Amazon.