By Peapodsquadmom | Leave A Comment
I have a difficult time with the idea of separating my triplets. I’m not just talking about for school (though we have chosen to keep them together when they begin pre-k this fall). I’m taking about…well…almost everywhere. I know. “They need to be individuals.” I agree. And they are. They are so different. But whether it’s convenience, security, or control, I just feel this very strong urge to keep them together as much as possible. And the thing is…they really do seem to enjoy that. Prefer it even.
I was heartbroken to have them split up in the beginning. When our daughter came home from the hospital with me, we had to leave the boys back in the NICU. It was awful. The worst, though, was when the first boy came home. I felt like we were positively abandoning the precious little boy who was still in the hospital. My heart was so fragmented.
Then they were finally all home. Having my family together was bliss. Like many other moms of multiples, I put them in one single crib together as tiny babies. 3 little tightly swaddled “baby burritos” all lined up across the crib. And even now, at 4 years old, they share a room. It began out of a lack of space. Now it’s just because they do not want to change the arrangement. Any discussions regarding moving the boys into a separate bedroom from our daughter leads to panic.
When we go out to eat, they always want to sit on the same side of the booth or table. We try to split them up by putting ourselves between them, but they insist on being together most of the time. The same thing goes for outings. I try to take just one of them somewhere with me from time to time…to allow for individual bonding time. The whole time I’m with the one child, he/she is telling me how much he/she misses the other two. And I discover the same phenomenon waiting for us at home. The two left behind have missed the one who went.
We really want to put them in 2 separate bedrooms this summer. I think it’s time. And I think the longer we put it off, the harder the transition will be for everyone. I’m nervous, though. Is it going to be traumatic for them? For me? What has been your experience with the first time you separated your multiples for whatever reason?
ABOUT Peapodsquadmom
Monica is an elementary school music teacher, mom of 6-year-old triplets and wife to daddy extraordi{read more}
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I thought it was bad to force multiples together…I had no idea it was bad for them to want to be together!
Your kids are so jolly cute!!! I don’t have triplets, but I have found with all those milestone-type parenting decisions that when things feel ready and right they work out and when they don’t feel quite right or ready they never work out! Don’t listen to what people around you are advising because they don’t live in your house 24/7, listen to your heart! If you think you need to put it off another week or month or maybe market it a bit better then take your time… You are only going to do this once – hopefully!!!
I’m having similar issues with my two oldest daughters, who are 22 months apart. They share a room (with their 8 month-old sister), sleep in the same bed (even when both girls have their own), miss each other during one-on-one time, etc. They also fight like cats and dogs.
If you come up with a good solution, let me know! LOL…
Just to clarify…I certainly don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with them wanting to be together (though I’m sure it would be beneficial to their development to be apart at some point). They are still in toddler beds and, therefore, fit in one bedroom just fine at this point. They are, however, growing out of those and need regular twin-size beds. Three of those do not fit in the one room. So the separation is inevitable. I’m just wondering how other families with multiples dealt with separating multiples who wanted to stay together.
My twins (boy and girl) are 6 years old. They share a room. I decided since they are six maybe they should have their own rooms now we have a new house and the office is being turned into my daughters room. She is very excited about having her own room, but sleeping there will probably be another story. They love to be together too, but they also love their time away from each other. My son loves to visit over night at my MIL’s home, but my daughter doesn’t like to sleep over. So when my son is there she sleeps with us or I stay in the room with her until she falls asleep. Basically the reason we are seperating them is so they can go to their own quiet space if they want to. Besides they both end up in our bed at night anyway.