Giving Your Child a Choice is GOOD

Kids sometimes feel powerless. They feel trapped by the control grown-ups have over them.  Letting them make some of their own choices empowers them and can feed their self-confidence.

But what if you’re a parent who constantly feels the needs to be in control? Or what if the situation just calls for more parental influence?

One of the most freeing and positive things I’ve learned as a mom is the whole notion of giving my children choices we can BOTH live with. I choose the pool of options (that are all acceptable to me) and let my children choose from that pool. Everybody wins and the power-struggles are minimized.

“You may have a cookie OR yogurt OR a pudding cup for snack.” I’ve already determined that either choice is OK to me. My child then feels like he has some control over snack time.

“Do you want to wear your blue dress and leggings OR your orange shirt and shorts?” Again, I’m fine with either option. She picks one or the other and feels confident about her ability to pick out her own clothes.

This exercise also gives your child experience in making decisions within a safe setting, where the choices are not really major or complicated. As they grow older, you can begin to expand the options. Use these opportunities to talk about choices that ARE big: choosing friends wisely, choosing to do the right thing even when others don’t, choosing healthy lifestyle options.

As you praise your children’s small choices, you’re giving them the confidence they need to make those big choices in life.

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