Holiday Traditions

Let’s face it.  Holidays are stressful.  Add to the mix two families being joined together when a couple marries and all the separate holiday traditions, and you can have stress magnified ten-fold!

Whether you are a newlywed or have been married for twenty-five years, blending family traditions and creating an identity for your family at the holidays can be difficult.

Here are a few helpful tips to creating new family traditions this Thanksgiving.

• Sit down together to discuss the holiday.  Make time to have this conversation!
• List the favorite Thanksgiving traditions that you both have.  Also list the things that DO NOT want to include in your family (Aunt Bessie’s gelatinous stuffing, anyone?).
• Be willing to compromise. Something that isn’t as important to you may be VERY important to your spouse.  Honor that.
• If you make the decision to attend Thanksgiving dinner with one side of the family and not the other, be firm but gentle in explaining your decision to the extended family.
• Consider rotating favorite traditions.  Do one thing one year, and something different the next.

For me, the biggest transition in celebrating Thanksgiving with my in-law relations has been regarding the food.  Their favorite Turkey Day food is different from what I grew up with, but I have learned to bring my favorite dishes to share.  I sample everything that the in-laws have made, whether I think it’s “Thanksgiving-y” or not.  And I’ve learned to not be offended if they don’t love my homemade raw cranberry relish (more for me!).

In short, honor the traditions of your spouse’s family, but don’t be afraid to create new traditions for the new family that you’ve created by marrying this wonderful person.  Here’s to a less stressful Thanksgiving feast!