My husband sort of lives by a motto that he often reminds our three sons of: always and never are very strong words. I think I’ve heard him say this hundreds, if not thousands, of times in our 21-year relationship.

He cautions the boys that the words “always” and “never” are extremes that should be used sparingly and with care because, in most instances, their use is an exaggeration that isn’t representative of the truth. I myself have been at the other end of this always/never usage reminder during, shall we say, heated discussions.

The truth is, he’s absolutely right. There are very few times when these can be used to accurately represent what is going on. And they are hard words to live up to. As wives and mothers, we all fall short of always doing something in particular without fail. Sometimes I get a home-cooked dinner on the table, sometimes not. I plan to get exercise in during the day, but it often doesn’t happen. I pray to always have patience with my boys and never yell at them; but situations and circumstances get in the way and I lose my cool – again.

However, I take these times of failure and try to turn them into learning opportunities for both myself and my boys:

• What set me off?
• Could I have approached the situation differently?
• What will I do the next time I walk into the garage and my 10-year-old is seconds away from using Dad’s table saw?

These are also awesome chances to show our children that parents, too, need to apologize when our behavior is less-than-desirable.

There are, however, a few exceptions to the always/never rule that we spend a great deal of effort living out loud for our sons:  We will always love them; never will anything they do or say make us love them any less; we always put God first in our lives; and we will never make them wear plaid pants or eat Brussels sprouts.

Ever.

Photo by valike