Faith, Love, and the Pursuit of Sanity is an online journal written by Holly Anderson. You can find the Faith, Love, and the Pursuit of Sanity archives here or access all of Blissfully Domestic’s online journals here.

Shifting gears is a monumental part of any mother’s day. Having three boys of such varying ages (18, 10, and 5) means that I spend an inordinate amount of time rerouting the thought paths in my brain.  Shaking my head vigorously helps speed the process along, but I inevitably sometimes end up asking my senior if he has pottied and telling my kindergartner to put away his keys and wallet.

Through the years I’ve moved from potty training to driver’s training within the same day; worked tirelessly to get my autistic son to answer a “why” question while praying for my 8-year-old to quit asking them for 5 minutes; and tried to convince my 9-year-old why he must get his hair cut while his 17-year-old brother is no longer under that parental obligation.

Not only must mothers learn to shift mental gears to operate smoothly, but to work and care for the actual gears that make up the family. In order to keep us all moving in the same direction while attempting to preserve my own sanity over the years, I have come to learn three vital things about the gears in this family machine:

• None will function correctly without working alongside others.

• It’s impossible to end up with the proper results without engaging each of them.

• The gears may all be very different sizes, but they still fit together and work for the good of the whole.

As a result, I sometimes gave the 8-year-old the task of trying to teach his younger brother the concept of  why, which gave him a sense of helping; the potty training was postponed until after the driver’s training to slow down the hair-graying process; and we told the 9-year-old that his big brother looked like a girl with his long hair and why would he want that for himself?

All for the good of the whole.

photo by ralphbijker

Holly Anderson is the busy mom of three boys, the youngest with autism. She can be round blogging about faith, hope, and her daily pursuit of sanity at My (Un)Controlled Chaos.