By Nicki | Leave A Comment
It’s spring time. I love spring. I also love flowers. In fact, one of the only reasons that I grow them in my yard is so that I can pick them and have free fresh flowers in my home. However, with snow still on the ground I won’t be picking them any time soon.
So for the last week I’ve been dropping obvious hints that I would like some daffodils. They are very inexpensive at our supermarket right now and I thought, if I just drop a few hints then my hubby will pick up on it and bring some home to me. Days came and went and every day he came home from work without daffodils. Wasn’t I being generous dropping hints? Why wasn’t he bringing me the flowers? I’ll tell you why:
Most (maybe even all) men don’t pick up on hints. It’s not their fault really, their brain just doesn’t go that way. They need to be told/asked something directly. It’s the same reason that it doesn’t occur to them that their dirty clothes belong IN the hamper, not next to it. Our obnoxious hints just aren’t getting through.
Well, you know what I did. I told my husband I would like some daffodils and he came home with a bunch of them last night. Why was it so hard for me to ask? For some reason I assume that it would be obvious to him that I want daffodils. Good thing he doesn’t assume that it’s obvious that he needs a new drill or something. Nothing could be further from my mind. Hmmm … I think there might be a connection here.
Photo by fleecetraveler
ABOUT Nicki
Nicki is a wife and mom living in the rural northeast of the United States. She writes about using d{read more}
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I couldn’t help but laugh reading your article. That is so true about men picking up on our hints. My husband has told me, I don’t know how many times, to just come out and say what I want instead of trying to hint.
It sure saves a lot of disappointment on my end and confusion on his end.
Hi, Nicki!
Men are complicated, but at the same time, they’re really simplistic, too. He wants to make you happy – that’s the simple part. He doesn’t quite know how to do that on a “little thing” basis – that’s the complicated part. The best approach is always honesty…
“Honey, I’d really love some daffodils. Would you see if the store has any the next time you’re out?”
Plain, simple. Clean cut. You get your flowers, he gets to feel like he “done good” for you. It’s actually a huge ego-boost for the guy, too, to see that he makes you that happy by doing something simple like that… You never know, next month, he might bring you some marigolds, but you want to bet either way that he’ll be more mindful of flowers in the future as he passes them in the store?
I think for some reason, women think it will be more meaningful if men think of it themselves. I have tried over the past year or so to just ask my husband to do things when I would like him to do them, instead of making him guess. You are so right! His brain just isn’t wired to pick up on the hints. Besides, if I think about it, if I drop hints and Mike does something because of it, he really isn’t thinking of it himself at all! Thanks for reminding me that it is better to be straightforward with him. I think that makes us both happier!
I’ve been married 7 years and I’d still like if he had the idea himself
But, alas, he will not think to put those dirty dishes in the dishwasher…