After my last two posts, I really started re-evaluating why I wanted to be a contributor here.

I realized that the main driving force was because I wanted other young stepmoms to know that they are not alone. That the feelings and emotions that they go through are completely typical.

In order to do this I can’t keep writing just the happy stories, the ones that have ended well. I need to also include the real struggles that I go through. The times when I feel that I really can’t keep doing and living this life of a blended family. The times that hit me so hard and drive me so low.

So to transition to that frame of thought I thought I would make this post more comical, but oh so true.

I wonder.. Do other step parents do this?

I have recently noticed that I get some kind of sick, twisted enjoyment when my steps get in trouble. I find myself going out of my way searching for any shred of evidence of wrong doing that will get them in trouble. It doesn’t matter how small and insignificant.. “What’s this, a single text message made after curfew! Your head shall roll for this!”

It’s not as if I didn’t do things like this when I was their age and for crying out loud that was only about 10 years ago! I can’t be the wicked cool step-mom who is all like “Shh, it’s okay I won’t tell your dad. This is just between us girls.”

No, I have to be the step-monster that is waiting around the corner, the one that wears socks so that I can slid across the hard wood floor instead of walk and risk making a noise, the one that goes through your room when you’re gone and is thoroughly disappointed when all I find is your history notes folded up in your backpack.

I suppose the first step is recognizing the problem.. “Hello, my name is Tina and I’m a Step-Monster.”

My euphoria goes away quickly and is even more quickly replaced by guilt. And typically I only feel this way when the girls are exhibiting a less than desired attitude but really that’s no excuse.

It’s yet another chink in my armor that I have found and am now working on rectifying.

photo credit: beeep

Tina can be found most days at her laptop, which according to her husband is a permanent appendage of her body, transcribing her “mad” life at Madhatter Mom or on Twitter when she should be cleaning the house.