Despite the abundance of stepparenting books available, there is no official stepmother handbook given at the time of your nuptials to a man who has kiddos already. Though you can subscribe to any number of philosophies from those books, the fact is – the appropriate level of involvement is going to vary from one household to another and it is up to you and your family to find what works for you.

In the beginning, I was VERY involved with my stepson’s activities – I attended every appointment, every sporting event, every school function. Likewise, my husband and I were equal partners in the “parenting” aspect. There has been evolution of our initial roles over the years to find something that felt more comfortable for our family – but it definitely wasn’t easy (and it’s still a work in progress, as blended life usually is).

Photo credit: mikebaird