We’ve discussed what you would do differently when your spouse deploys and I love that so many of you are on the same page as I am concerning how to make it through deployments.

My husband has been back for a year now and right now there are no new ones on the horizon.  I’ve spent the time since his return not only thinking about what I would do differently next time but what would have been most helpful to me while he was away.

I’ve come up with a list of things that I now try to do to help out my girlfriends when their husbands are deployed.  Some are so simple but make a world of difference.  Some may be specific to my situation and wouldn’t be helpful to you.  The goal is the same, reguardless.  We are a community.  Our branch of service, rank and location may be different but we are still a family of military spouses.  We understand each other in a way that those who don’t have a spouse serving in the military just cannot.  Because of this, we are so much better equipped to help each other out in ways that no one else can.

Here are a few of the things that I either do to help or find especially helpful during deployments.  I invite you to add your own in the comment section.

1.  Send cards and emails.  Even if you live close, drop a card in the mail.  I promise it will be a bright spot in her day when she checks her mail.  Same goes for email.  It doesn’t have to be wordy, just a quick note to let her know that you are there and thankful for her.

2.  If your husband isn’t deployed, let him do some of the “heavy work” that her husband would normally do.  Cutting the grass, repairing things, changing the impossible to reach light bulb that burned out directly over the stairwell are all good examples.

3.  Watch her kids.  Don’t just say, “I want to watch the kids for you sometime” and then leave the ball in her court.  Call her with specifics.  “I was hoping I could have Susie over on either Tuesday or Friday morning to play this week.  Which works better for you to take some time for yourself?”

4.  Take her out for coffee or some other form of girl time.  This could be tricky if neither of you has a regular babysitter or the kids don’t go to school but it’s so important to work out time for her to have adult conversation without the kids around.

5.  When you are at the grocery store, pick up an extra gallon of milk or loaf of bread.  These things will inevitably run out before you even notice and we all know how hard it can be to load up the kids for a trip to the commissary just to get those two pesky things you ran out of.  While you’re there, drop off a People Magazine or a movie you know she’ll love.

6.  Call her just to chat.  So many times when your husband is deployed, your friends don’t know what to say so they just stop calling.  Isolation only makes the deployment process harder so try to help avoid this at all costs!

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Photo Credit: James Thew – Fotolia.com