I have been “domestically employed” (read: a stay-at-home parent) for 10 years now. For the first few years, I was completely enamored with it – since it was new and different, and I felt like I was thumbing my nose at my previous, very stressful career. Take THAT, world of advertising!

Then the honeymoon was over.

What Now?

The excitement wore off, life set in, the Is this all I am? thought process began nipping away at me, taunting me like a little devil sitting on my shoulder and whispering into my ear. You know the feeling – an entire day of barely sitting down, not getting a shower and hardly a chance to think; and at the end of it all, the house is still a mess, you are still a mess, and you feel like there is no evidence that you did anything worthwhile. Then you do it all again the next day. And every day after that until something exciting like the appointment for your yearly exam comes along and gives you a legitimate reason to shower, do your hair, and get dressed in a timely manner.

Blissfully domestic? Not by a long shot. Why? Because I was living so short-sighted that I couldn’t see that, unless I cultivated the area where God had planted me, everything (and everyone) that He placed in my care would also wither. I was supposed to be making my home an area of rich soil, tending to it with love and nourishing it daily. Instead I was infesting it with my bad attitude and ego-centric self-pity.

I was supposed to be making my home an area of rich soil, tending to it with love and nourishing it daily. Instead I was infesting it with my bad attitude and ego-centric self-pity.

A New Perspective.

As soon as my focus turned outward, it was like my eyes had been fitted with a new prescription. Of course there was evidence that what I was doing each day was worthwhile! All I had to do was look into any one of my boys’ eyes and see that everything I was doing was right there – the good and the bad.

God turned me around just in time for my youngest son to be diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder; and subsequently, in time for my middle son to be diagnosed with a combination of ADHD, a mood disorder, and possible Asperger’s Syndrome. If I had to handle these things with my old attitude, we all would’ve sped downhill faster than Jack and Jill and that pail of water.

Again With the Attitude?

Recently, my youngest son began first grade leaving me home alone  all day for the first time ever; and again I struggled with my purpose. I struggled with the little devil on my shoulder again, telling me that I had to go out and get a job if I were to be useful again. He was back and chipping away at my self-esteem.

However, this time it only took a few months to get back to my eternal focus. I realized that for me, for now, my purpose is still in this home – continuing to turn the soil, keep it rich with nutrients, being here to continue the job God gave me with these three boys. Their issues are not going away, and I need to be 100% focused on them and not distracted by even a part-time job that would take my mind and emotions away from helping them fight, overcome, and live with the issues they have been handed.

My faith continues to keep me blissfully domestic in an otherwise stressful life with special needs to deal with. And it brings me back to center when I swerve or make a wrong turn altogether.

To me, being Blissfully Domestic may not be a constant state, but one that I strive to achieve during this time of my life because I believe it’s exactly where God intends for me to be.

photo by Miguel Saavedra