By savvylittlewomen | Leave A Comment
Bystanders, that is.
I was recently on a shopping trip with my whole crew. And when I say shopping, I mean throwing things in the cart/stroller at random while trying to tame my many small children. With multiples, and in our case multiple multiples, your #1 goal in any store, is to just survive. I’ve got 1 hanging on the end of the stroller, 1 crying, 1 sleeping, and 2 fighting over a coloring book that we’re not even buying. I’m checking my list, and I’m begging them to behave. After all, we are in public.
As I’m scanning down my list, I’m asking myself, “what can we do without…what items are not worth another multiple meltdown?” I know, you’ve been there right? Pleeaase tell me you’ve been there.
I announce that we are leaving, and to my surprise, they are equally as upset about leaving as they are about being there in the first place. Strange, aren’t they? Very cute, but very hard to please at times. I guess the popcorn euphoria had worn off, and I have no more tricks up my sleeve. It’s time to make an exit, fast. The shopping trip is over, no matter what we are leaving without. We are check-out bound.
What marketing ploy is better than the check out lane? 1000 irresistible gadgets shoved onto one 3-ft display. There is something about small, useless gadgets that make my children hard to reason with. My 3-year-old twins have 2 candy fans in their hands, and they are not letting go. “Put those back babes…not today” I tell them in the most patient way possible. But we all know, that doesn’t always work.
I quickly start unloading our items, and pray that this lady is the fastest scanner Target has ever seen. Well, you guessed it, no such luck. I now have 2 3-year-olds throwing fits over the candy fans, 2 babies crying because they need to eat, and one 5-year-old that is upset that everyone else is melting down.
I try to usher my screaming entourage toward the exit to get their coats on when I heard her say it, plain as day:
“My children were never allowed to act like that. Totally unacceptable.”
Really!? Did she just say that!? Tell me she didn’t. Tell me every mom standing here understands what it’s like to be in a public place with an out of sorts child (or children). It’s not fun, but it’s just another day in the life of a mom, right?
So what do you do? Do you say something to that rude bystander? Do you answer her back? Or do you move on and let it go? What did I do? I just smiled and said, “yep, this is crazy…funny, huh.” I wanted to say, “I’m doing the best I can…I am really out-numbered…do you have multiples!?” But I didn’t. Why? Because I’m just going to ignore useless comments that are made. It’s not worth my time. And you know, time is valuable these days!
So please, if you are the bystander, just smile. Smile that special “mom smile” that lets us know you understand. And if you are a mom with the screaming child, know that we’ve all been there. We understand. Don’t be embarrassed.
So pack up your crew and get out there again! We’ll be in the next aisle over having a meltdown over who gets to push the cart!
Happy Shopping!
(photo by Big Gray Mare)
ABOUT savvylittlewomen
Jesus following, husband loving, mama to 5 little girls! You can read more about this savvy family a{read more}
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I have multiple times been shopping with a crazy 2 year old boy and a happy clumsy 4 year old girl when both are having breakdowns and nice younger moms look at me and smile and say, “I have been there too!”
I would love to respond to the lady who so rudely talked to you and ask, “Did your perfect children grow up to be perfect adults?” (likely answer, NO!)
Just wanted you to know you are not alone!
Yes, meltdowns do tend to happen, especially when we are trying to shop! You’re right…the bystander has no clue and was beyond rude. Smile and keep on walking– and it’s not worth your precious time to argue with “her.”
Four possible explanations:
1) her kids never went with her to the store
2) she is in the early stages of alzheimers and forgot about the tantrums
3) she doesn’t really have kids
4) her pants are on fire
As someone who doesn’t have kids…I definitely never say anything right away. I have seen way too many parents appease a screaming child with candy/toys. I then sometimes make a comment of “well the kids obviously act like that to get what they want”. But just screaming/wildness…don’t say a word.
Wow! The nerve of some people! I give you props for being kind. I think my mom insecurities would’ve risen to the surface and I would’ve been equally rude. It makes me mad just thinking about it. Congrats on rising above the situation and setting a great example for your girls!
I’ve been there too. I would have been fuming with that woman. She obviously forgot how her young ones once acted. I will go with #2 explination of possible alzhiemers. I congratulate you at least you made it out of the store with your purchases. I had to leave my cart at the back of Target and carry a screaming 4 year old out. But we have gone back and will keep going back.
You are not alone, just stay strong, breath, and just move them out of the store as quickly as you can and don’t give that woman another thougt. It’s not worth it.
I had 4 kids an exhausted toddler and a babe in arms and we dashed into the store as the last errand of the day, for a gift we just had to get for a granny coming for dinner… of course the toddler fell apart and the babe followed suite! A person who we shall call “unfriendly assistant” told me: “Your kids should be home watching tv while you prepare their dinner… they obviously don’t want to be in the store!!!” Normally I would say nothing but I had bitten off more than I could chew and told her: “None of us wanted to be in her store, but that’s life, sometimes we just have to do what we don’t want to do.” My kids all jumped to attention and cut themselves short – they knew that tone of voice! – We calmly chose a gift and made a graceful exit. But boy was I seething!!!
I remember the days before I had children; I said, “My kids will never do ____.” Once I had children, I realized that I was totally & utterly clueless. When older relatives say unkind things, I realize that they have had 25-30 years of time to forget what real life was like. I admire you for being able to be kind; I am afraid that I might not have been able to be so wonderful.
A wise counselor once told me to “Consider the source!” If it’s someone that I don’t care for, their opinion can hold the same value as a homeless person standing on the street corner shouting the same thing at me. Sometimes a mouth hanging open in stunned disbelief says it all.
Oh. My. Stars. She said that to you? To your FACE?
Bravo to you for the way you handled it. I would’ve been tempted to reach across the register and smack ‘er a good one. I’m not really a violent person, either.
I have three girls under 5 (not multiples), and when I see another mom in one of “those” situations, I am sympathetic, empathetic, and sometimes even offer a word of encouragement. Even before I had children, I was that way.
It’s in the Bible… “treat others as you want to be treated.”
Guess that lady didn’t want to be treated kindly.